Clint Has Lurid Photos Of The Boss And A Pineapple

Essentially this was a game where the quality of the opposition pushed and pressured the Starship Tottingham Hotspur to the point where you could hear Mr Scott cry from the ether, ‘She cannae take it, Captain!’ The frailties in the engine room were there for all to see. Dry ice shot out of the pipes, lights flashed and the camera man didn’t need wiggle the vertical hold button about, the pitch did actually tilt violently now and again.

The inhabitants of the Blue Moon were a physically strong godless gang of vicious but talented bar stewards. We attempted to stun a few of them but they simply ate our phasers.

The boss made some questionable substitutions yet again and I would welcome him explaining why in his report to Star Fleet Fleet St. Ade was on a yellow, but unarguably our best player. With Defoe and Dempsey teaming up we were effectively down to 9 men.

If I didn’t know Hugo was there on the bench then I’d give the old buzzard an easier ride. It’s not his fault that Lloris appears faster, more proactive, determined not to hoof the ball. It’s not Brad’s fault. But thems the facts.

His agent should get him a non speaking extra part on EastEnders. A bloke happily shifting boxes of cauliflowers on the market. Playing football at this level he looked out of his depth. No howlers, just a startled bunny hopping about on a main road.

Gets dogs abuse from a certain section of our support. This must a be a group of people who live timid, anally retentive lives who will tell you with pride they don’t own a piece of red clothing. He wasn’t perfect but much better than some.

Against the Premier League Champions and their multimillion pound megastars he stock fell a little. Given his age and experience my guess is he’ll survive. The quality of his header beat the country’s best goalie. So yes, a mixed bag but no screaming disaster.

Really needed him in the middle of the defense. Again, with Verts as with others there was too much being thrown at us to indulge him being played out of position.

Here’s a guy that’s worth his wages and due a pay rise. Never goes missing. Doesn’t flounce about doing impressions. He’s mustard. If we had Parker back then we could focus more on feeding the creatives.

This was a game that I felt he genuinely tried his best and despite it not being quite good enough it, that doesn’t make him a bad person. He tried to defend more and move more, but it made little difference. If we could squeeze performances like this out of him against far far weaker opposition then he would be a squad rotation asset. At this level he was too pressured and gave away possession far too frequently.

I liked the figure pointing bit. Must find that for a caption comp. But he didn’t spin past them, he didn’t achieve a whole hell of a lot. He did pitch in defensively which was the right thing to do. But offensively they didn’t notice him.

Did City do a job on him or was he deployed more defensively? Whichever it was, it didn’t work out well for us. A game we could have really benefited from him blazing a trail. And he didn’t. 

Oh dear. It appears Clint Dempsey is in possession of some rather lurid photographs of Villas-Boas and a pineapple.

My heart sank when he came on because we took off the only bloke who was probably going to supply him.

Best boy on the pitch. Hugged most of the City team in the tunnel and then proceeded on the pitch to wind most of them up like cheap alarm clocks. If we learned anything from this game it was that Emmanual Adebayor is a diligent footballer. Jermain Defoe is poacher.

Oh Andre, Andre, Andre. What was the deal with taking off Ade? And what on earth were you doing with that pineapple? My big concern is that you aren’t being as tough on the lads as some of us might wish you to be. That said you are missing so many vital ingredients there is a futility to the analysis. Carroll must be trusted. Huddlestone is too limited. As for Dempsey, I am afraid the jig is up.