History has taught us two things.
1. Do not invade Russia in winter.
2. Trying to get a song for a player actually onto the terraces is more fun than the above but as about as easy.
So what then of the boy VdV? Early indications are that we have a ‘bit of a player’ on our hands here and he really needs a song or a call at least in recognition of his pretty bloody wonderfulness so far, not to mention his pretty bloody wonderfulnesses that are surely yet to come.
Given the nature of his surname the Fat Les – Vindaloo fits like a glove…
Me and me mum and me dad and me gran we all love van dar vaart,
Me and mum and me dad and me gran have taken ‘im to our heart.
Van der vaart van der vaart van der vaart – Van der vaart la lal
Van der vaart van der vaart van der vaart – Van der vaart la la
Van der vaart van der vaart and we all love – Van der vaart
Were going to score one more than you – – Tottenham!
A chap by the name of Jon Fisher cooked up this little ditty that appeared on 606; to the tune of the old Addams Family theme…
He’s just as good as Hoddle,
He’s better than Chris Waddle,
His Mrs is a model,
He’s Rafael Van Der Vaart!
Right, over to you…
Van de, van de vaart, van de vaarts a yiddo! To the tune of oh to be a yiddo
Van de, van de vaart, van de vaarts a yiddo! To the tune of oh to be a yiddo. We need to sing something cos the boy is special
‘Van der Vaart is one of the finest exponents of the art of football
He is truly mesmerising
Van der Vaart is one of the finest exponents of the art of football
He is truly mesmerising’
To the tune of that N.Korean marching song
When he was just an Ajax kid
He asked the gaffer where will I play?
Will it be Hamburg, or Real Madrid?
This is what the gaffer say
Van de Vaart, de Vaart
You play with skill and art
Your passes and runs are smart
Van de Vaart, de Vaart
Van de Vaart, de Vaart
We saved you from Real Madrid
You were born to be a yid
Van de Vaart, de Vaart
Van de Vaart, de Vaart
You’ll be wasted at Real Madrid
You were born to be a yid
Van de Vaart, de Vaart
He’s here,
he’s there,
he’s every f***ing where,
Van der Vaart,
Van der Vaart! (repeat)