500 Million Reasons Spurs Won’t Get The Olympic Stadium

And all of ’em with the Queen’s head on.

The past few weeks has been a fatiguing carousel of campaigning and canvassing. Have you met the candidates?

The Anti Stratford Party are defined by their outrage and their ‘Blitz’ spirit. Their primary weapon is the ability to evoke ‘lump in the throat’ memories and so humanize the bricks and mortar that we call The Lane. They were handed the easier task yet by and large still they botched it.

The Pro Stratford Party are far more low key characters. Less vocal, less emotionally charged they prefer to dispense facts, figures and shrugs dispassionately in sustainable doses. A bit like a chemist proffering you a syrup that will work but simultaneously twist your face off.

They are cunning wretches, explaining their solution with the words, ‘I don’t want to move any more than you but…’

Both sides suspect each other of the worst. The We Are N17ers are secretly viewed as an elitist hardcore of season ticket holders, largely born within a monkeys fart of the Bell & Hare. Lot’s of ‘How’s Carol, Mike? Here, tell your Malcolm’s bird we don’t bite – always room for another on Sundays!’

The Olympians are secretly viewed as soulless Johnny Come Lately’s who can’t wait to move Spurs wholesale to anywhere that might ease 40 minutes off their travel pain and increase their chance of actually getting a ticket. All Superdry coats and snow white Reeboks. The pig-dogs!

The Luddites vs The Grave Robbers it is then.

I made the point yesterday that once you move beyond the quite noisy minority, the overwhelming vote is for Inertia. On this two bob blog there has been a poll up for some weeks. I just checked how many. 12 and 3 days to be precise.

Three quarters of those who expressed a preference voted against a move to Stratford. But that was only 750 odd punters. The site does routinely what, 40k a week with a willing server? That’s an awful lot of people who didn’t feel moved enough to pass an opinion.

You might argue the fact that most readers do not post comments. But clicking a yes or no on such a supposedly massive issue is hardly a big ask. So I had a look on Knees Up Mother Brown. They have a similar poll up on there.

That too was a bit of wash out – with even fewer votes cast than our one. They don’t care either.

a Pole worth getting interested in.

I guess that most folk are resigned to the idea that whatever the outcome is they don’t expect to have an influence upon it.

So if the comedy demo on the High Road last weekend failed to secure the hearts and minds of people who could have walked to it, but even they couldn’t be bothered,  what’s the likely outcome?

Well if I knew, I wouldn’t be hanging around chugging this little lot out, I’d  be selling furniture enroute to a reputable bookmakers.

The Tottenham bid is the common sense one. It paves the way for a Champions League shaped future underpinned with financial stability and easier access.It sneers in the face of David Clammy MP and titters at the disinformation. No running track, no name change. A no brainer to the cold and the calculating.

Perhaps most importantly the Olympic Legacy gets put in it’s correct place. A faithfully attended to afterthought to meet the needs of a drippy minority.

The West Ham bid is insane. A club run by porn barons and a woman with a face like a kicked in fridge have hatched some scheme with the Council  to assert squatter’s rights after the last drugs test results of  The Games come back from the lab. As things stand today, the Ammers could be set to have the swankiest stadium in the Championship.

The West Ham bid ’embraces’ the retention of the running track much in the same way a blind man ’embraces’ braille. ‘Kids 4 A Quid’ some legacy that’ll be.

The greatest threat of the decision coming out in favour of the insane is unsurprisingly from the same ship of fools that created this whole mess.

Athletic luminaries including Lord Coe, Lamine Diack , Sir Craig Reedie and Uncle Tom Cobley have all damned the plan that just weeks after the The Games end, the place been knocked down and turned into a viable business.

They have created this £500M white elephant and it is difficult to believe that they sit back and just watch it be bulldozed. Baroness Ford & Co need to decide what they want. A time-bomb that we all know will go off at some point courtesy of the crotchless knicker kings, or to acknowledge some unpalatable home truths and hand the land over to respectable, intelligent people with a strategy that will work.

Don’t hold your breath, mind.