That David Sullivan Rant Translated

I’m not some tax exile living in the Bahamas, who never watches a football match, doing it for a huge, personal financial gain, as is the case with the Spurs owner.

I’m a Porn Baron who at the age of 21 made money by producing porn pictures weekly and selling sheets of photos by mail order. Those were the days, £800 on a good week.

The motive of myself and my partner David Gold is to give something back to the community we came from and are still a part of.

Me & Dave are sporting evangelists. It ain’t all about tarts waving their growlers about, not at all . We want to break the pricing cartel that monopolizes sport. It’s too expensive for ordinary people. Having made football so dire the tickets are only worth a quid, we feel athletics is the obvious next step.

The Olympic Stadium will motivate and regenerate East London and Essex. We are proud to use our money to be a part of it. It works for West Ham United and all of London.

When we say our money, of course we mean ‘we’ as in all of us, the… proud indigenous peoples of these islands. And the council’s.

Daniel Levy’s sole argument seems to be that, in his opinion, the stadium won’t work with West Ham United as the tenants. We beg to differ. What we know won’t work is having a north London club having a stadium in the Borough where we have been for over 100 years. It doesn’t feel right, as it isn’t right. Any right-minded person would agree with us.

This might be skint rush job but if we keep focusing on outdated ‘you’re on my manor’ guff hopefully nobody will notice.

If you believe in something, you will work harder and for longer to make it a success. You have to care. Lord Coe cares. He was emotional and full of sentiment when delivering the Olympic legacy promise which resulted in us winning the 2012 Games, against the odds. He cares as much as us about honouring that promise.

And we’ll latch onto anyone to make this happen. I’d happily be photographed kissing Rose West if it came to it.

Demolishing a feat of engineering and expertise that cost half-a-billion pounds and then knocking up a plain football ground in its place is about as cold and clinical as it gets. And, by the way, doesn’t make financial sense.

No, it doesn’t make sense. Because you made it up. The facts are that 80% of the original structure will remain and the other 20% being executed in a recycling exercise, with zero landfill.

‘No wonder those who propose that option want the emotion stripped away and instead are choosing to patronise the tens of thousands* of loyal Hammers fans who know a thing or two about atmosphere.

Yes no one can rival the truly unique atmosphere of Hammers fans. Ask any of the women and children who had to flee as they enjoyed a good punch up in the Birmingham City car park recently.

We will be able to answer their desire for affordable tickets and better access at a world-class stadium that is fitting for a club that produced three World Cup winners. The fact we will be staying in our Borough to do so just makes the case even more compelling.

Staying in their borough, but nailed on to moved to a different league come the end of the season.

After £90 million of conversion, we’ll have great sightlines – no seat will have a worse view of the pitch than Wembley Stadium – and a new roof designed to create intimacy. I have no doubt that this stadium will succeed.

That’s a relief.  I could have sworn there wasn’t a running track at Wembley, but if you say there is, I believe you.

*made up number