Blackpool

Van der Vaart Hurts Baby Cow

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Mornin’.

Tangerines away it is. Negatives other than the abject squalor of the town itself out the way first then. Our physio bench is once again to die for… VdV calf strain again (hence the daft headline), Charlie still recovering from an assassination attempt, Krankie, Wooders, King, Thud and Bale all writhing with gout.

This is only leaves us –  excluding the Dutchman – with the journeymen dregs of the squad what beat Italian giants AC Milan at the San Siro last week. So what does that say? I tells me in louder tones than a whisper that we’ll batter them. Battered tangerines. One of our pal, LOTW’s 5 a day.

Blackpool arrived in the premiership looking like a brand new shiny happy thing. Sunshine on a stick. A troupe of unheard of players all as keen as custard led by the quintessential seaside cheeky chappy. The landlady had a wink in her eye, the fairy lights burned brightly, the candy floss was extra fluffy and the livin’ was easy.

Then reality hit Blackpool like a Tom & Jerry safe free-falling from the tenth floor. Splat. The hot dogs were cancelled due a Health & Hygiene Order. The shops, bars, so called nightclubs and hotels’ fixtures and fittings in Blackpool are worth more than their receipts.

Blackpool’s borrowed time is  like watching a piece of film you’ve seen before in slow motion. Not gloating, just calling it as I see it. Whatever Holloway had going on evaporated before Charlie Adam became the white Flava Flav. The reality is that Blackpool came like too many before them into the Premiership ill equipped for the task ahead and I’m not talking about under-soil heating.

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Looking for way to feed and slurp myself I see Azza Blud as man who may skin a few tangerines tonight (see what I did there?) and Anytime Scorer in a modest 0-2 win is just dandy at 25/1.


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337 comments

  • Tommy_Puddle says:

    VdV would have had a field day last night…

  • Kluffah Yid says:

    I see it like this…

    Mourinho would have rocked up with a 451 and strangled a side who love to play free flowing football. They might not be the best at it, but they will try to pass it around unlike Wolves/Blackburn/Stoke etc.

    Bearing in mind how good we are, how many chances we had and the pressure on those chances because of conceding so easily, 451 would have been a stroll. We would have easily got 1 or 2, or at worst finished 0-0.

    Also to play 442 and then stick peanut, modric and palacios in the middle is a strange paradox of attacking formation and defensive players. Even modric prefers collecting off the back 4 as opposed to getting it in their half.

    Then playing 442 forces us to field two of our rather under-performing strikers!!!

    I said it before and I’ll say it again, he’s a great motivator but by god is Harry shit at tactics! Our squad, even with the myriad of injuries is far better than the 3-1 drubbing.

    • toddspur says:

      so Arry got it all wrong in Italy then yeh? oh and I suppose he got it wrong through Dec & Jan too? and maybe last season when we qualified for CL (after 38 fuckin games)

      fuck me; the only time you ever come on here is when we lose and then give it the ‘Arry out’ shit

      If you dont like him personally then no problem just dont talk complete and utter shite for the sake of hearing your own voice

  • Fatfish says:

    Time to recall PSB?

  • Fatfish says:

    Out of contract strikers at the end of this season that are better than what we’ve got.

    Van Nistlerooy
    Klose
    Elmander
    Pandiani

    Oh and Brett Ormerod

  • Kojac says:

    what a fuck up that was last night,i was fuming about blowing the chance to go 3rd

    last night proves that crouch really is our No 1 striker,i’d rather start him now,i’ve promoted him from his bench routine,and play all our good midfielders with him up top

    i believed last season we could do it but i’m calling it now,we ain’t making 4th,foiled by non strikers :angry:

    i hope we beat milan and get to go to the bernabeu or nou camp

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