Once more unto the breach, dear Yids, once more;
Or close the wall up with our Chick King boxes.
In peace there’s nothing so becomes a man
As Modders stillness and humility:
But when the blast of Azza Blud blows in our ears,
Then imitate the action of the tiger;
Steffen the Freundts, summon up the Thudd,
Disguise fair shoooooots with hard-favour’d range;
Then lend Arry’s twitching eye a terrible aspect;
Let pry through the large port drunk in bed
Like the brass cannon; let Sandro’s mono-brow o’erwhelm it
As fearfully as doth a galled Bostock
O’erhang and jutty his confounded drum n’ base,
Swill’d with the wild and wasteful Defoe.
Now set the Jordan’s teeth and stretch the Gallas nostril wide,
Hold hard the breath and bend 3 Metre Peter
To his full height. On, on, you noblest English.
Whose blood is fet from London Gin 40° proof!
Fathers that, like Greavsie after 19 Brandy Alexanders,
Have in these parts from morn till last orders fought
And sheathed their swords for lack of buses home
Dishonour not your mothers; now attest
That those whom you call’d Bill Nick did beget you.
Be copy now to men of bulging bagels,
And teach them how to war. And you, good Chirpy,
Whose limbs were made in N17, show us here
The mettle of your pasture; let us swear
That you are worth your breeding; which I doubt not;
For there is none of you so mean and base,
That hath not noble Lilywhite lustre in your eyes.
I see you stand like Archibald in the slips,
Straining upon the start. The game’s afoot:
Follow your spirit, and upon this charge
Cry ‘God for Harry Redshnapps, Tottinghams, and Saint Burkinshaw!’
A half-completed riposte for you HH……
Half a Prem league, half a Prem league,?
Half a league onward,
?All in the valley of Bernabeu?
Rode the 11.?
“Forward, the Diamond Lights Brigade!?
“Charge for the Gooners!” he said:?
Into the valley of Bernabeu?
Rode the 11 ( with only 5 subs according to ‘Arry).
“Forward, the Diamond Lights Brigade!”
?Was there a man dismay’d??
Not tho’ the Sandro knew?
Someone had blunder’d:?
Theirs not to make a Mourinho reply,?
Theirs not to reason why,?
Theirs but to do and die:?
Into the valley of Bernabeu
?Rode the 11.
Cannon to right of them,?
Ronaldo to left of them ( even though they say he is injured ),?
Cannon in front of them?
Volley’d and thunder’d;?
Storm’d at with a Pav shot and shell ( that goes wide ),?
Boldly they rode and well,?
Into the jaws of Mourinho,?
Into the mouth of Hell?
Rode the 11 Spurs.
Not sure about Spuds?! But excellent :-D
harry you bardsteward,do you think you were born in the wrong era or is your time now.? :winke:
we need a team of 11 brian blesseds
I’m not sure about writing ‘Spuds’ either. It was meant to be self-deprecating, but now looking at it on the page it simply looks weak and spineless! (A bit like a Jenas away performance. Apologies to JJ’s mum if you’re reading this. ) Your prose has undoubtedly made my day Harry. Keep up the splendid work. My thoughts are with all other Spurs fans who’ve had a sleepless night. I’m 38. I should surely be more mature by now….. COYS!
it gets worse as you get older as you have more memories to torment yourself with.coys
Kind and true. No harm done.
I’m 56 mate and believe me, it does not get any better. The nerves, the butterflies, the queasy feeling in your stomach the fact that part of you wants to watch the game and part of you wants to be a million miles from the nearest TV.
Like you, I thought I would lose these feelings as I got older. Sorry to have to tell you, you are stuck with them for life.
Here you go sir, I never touch ‘our’ comments, only lunatic Ars* and illiterate Ammers. But I’ve edited that last word for you ;-)
Thank you Harold. My lunchtime snooze before we go ‘over the top’ will now be a little less anxiety-ridden….
Just to state ‘To Dare Is To Do’ would have been quicker!
Good work though!
I see Mr Felching is on their manor. Tales of Spanish rozzers getting their XL truncheons out are beginning to filter through…
Ha, first thought when I saw the reports of aggro. Like Belushi’s party entrance in Animal House. :pirat:
Nice Bardic mutilation H. :lol: