Arry Replacements Named

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On the last blog I gave a Arry a dig in the ribs. For me what grates are the self indulgences presumably prompted by his defense mechanism. The mood at The Lane when things fail to go swimmingly is fine blend of angst and lynch mob.

Football managers do not benefit from speech writers or spin doctors and consequently they have probably provided the world with more ‘interesting’ uses of the English language than George Bush.

But if you can suspend your disbelief at his belief in 3MP, and your rage at being told you’ve never had it so good you can actually see that he’s done a good job.

I’m not 83 but when I was a kid qualifying for Europe was the one. Bill Nicholson said if we’re not in Europe, we’re nothing. We’re nothing. I’ve always loved the way his words and those of Danny Boy have transcended time and become our scripture.

But the quote on Europe is rarely mentioned. I never see it as a ‘signature’ on forums. Always the ‘Aiming high…’ one. And so it seems I guess that the expectations in the modern game have changed. Not just in the top flight. There was a fella on the radio the other day saying that in the lower leagues the life expectancy of a manager is now averaging 14 months.

14 months. Managing a team comprised of men who aren’t very good at playing football, with no financial resources and piddle poor facilities. Heh, yeah. Change the manager. That’ll crack it.

So Redschnapps out then. I’m not surprised. Let me state that from the start. He and his mate 3MP currently owe me 2 television sets a piece.

Arry has done well in places. The quarter finals of the Champions League is an excellent achievement. Finishing 5th or 6th was heralded as ‘fab’ under Jol. JOl fans told us is this hourly for about 6 months after he was chopped. But the expectations of fans now have overtaken common sense.

Arry has done poorly in places. He is so media friendly he is bound – by the law of averages – to end up bugging someone. For every quote that makes us grin, there will be one that prompts us to violently swear at him. That 2 points from 8 games line has gone from being a badge of honour to a life raft.

There is of course the inevitable, ‘it’s Levy’s fault’ element within the lynch mob. A wage cap means fiscal control which means you don’t get bought out by chicken wholesalers. Fiscal control means you don’t get relegated with £40M worth of debt tucked into your underpants by a pair of porn barons.

Anyhoo, I’m not selling Arry. I’m selling reason. I got chill down my spine yesterday looking at some of the Arry replacements some supporters online have lined up. Let the shipwrecks of others be your marker in the storm, I say.

Let’s have a look at the runners and riders.

Carlo Ancelotti
Aside from his chances of wanting to join us, this has to epitomise the ‘I want it now, mummy!’ screaming fan mentality. Arguably one of the best managers and proven football minds in Europe. Fwank his 20 goals a season star missing for months plus Drogba his 46 year old striker out with Malaria. Yeah, sack him and send him over.

Villas Boas
Portuguezzer. One game away from an undefeated season. League title winner. Navy suit wearer. This guy is golden. Ramos 4.0. Just pledged his future to Porto. Get him in and we’ll turn his glittering career into a smoking, smashed up, twisted car crash.

Gus Hiddink
He’s used to managing turkeys :-p . The name on the lips of anyone comprising a managerial wish list. He’s been linked with Cheatski so long even he must wake up some days and think he must have managed them at some point. Gus Hiddink’s blue and white army! unfortunately doesn’t scan.

Jose Mourinho
Ah, the fantasy. The Special One actually requires a near bottomless pit of money in order to weave his unique brand of specialness. We would invoke not trophies from him but barbs. ‘I am a manager with only one hand. Daniel keeps my other hand in his bank. What can I do?’ – Where have we heard that line before….?

Over to you…

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  • jim says:

    its lunacy to be talking of sacking redknapp. How many times have we finished better than 6th in this league?? THREE TIMES thats all. Its insanity of the highest order. He’ll be here for one more year then england will get him so chill out lynch mob!!!! All of the above replacements wont get it, theres only one on the list, David Moyes.
    ( how long before a moron wakes up to say Klinsmann ?? )

    • Harry Hotspur says:

      I’d rather have Sherwood than Moyes and Sherwood’s a ****. Agree with the rest though :daumen:

      • Spurfect says:

        Hows about a punt on Klinsmann? :D
        …seriously though. Yes its madness to give Redknapp the boot. However, words need to be said over the coming weeks. IF he intends to take the England job on a full-time basis then this is only ever going to be of the detriment of Spurs. While there’s uncertainty that the managers only going to be there for a season then where’d the real drive from the players to play for him? A ‘he off at the end of the season so who gives one?’ mentality is the last thing we need when we’re at a crucial stage where we have to get back in the top 4 this season or drop out completely with now huge somes of cash over the horizon. He needs to commit to the project and take it by the horns.

    • snuftywoof says:

      why Moyes he has won nothing he has kept an average club in PL thats all

      • Roland Rat says:

        You can’t win anything unless you are at a big club, money talks so you have to look beyond trophies, they are meaningless as a judgement criteria now.

        • sniftywoof says:

          Birmingham beat scum and won leage cup

          fans only really want to win silverware and scum have gone another year with nothing yipee

  • IoanX says:

    The (scientific) answer to nipper’s question is because Spurs don’t have many players with the so called winner’s mentality which practically means I play to win every game first “to satisfy myself and my ego” and secondly because “I want always to belong to the winning team”.
    Harry’s replacement should be someone who is more ambitious, accepts less compromises, has “a winner’s character” and is able to implement the right tactics.

  • Peter4Spurs says:

    Sack Him – should never have hired him, a donkey could have got us into CL all the players needed was a pat on the back and 2nd last became 4th and now backwards again – He is a crook who will soon be in jail .. Common Jose

    • Harry Hotspur says:

      I hate to break it to you Peter but even if the case against Arry were sufficient to lead to a conviction, he won’t do jail time. It’s been suggested that the investigation has been a farce and the coppers never really had much on him.

      Do you think Jose would want to come here? He’s supposedly waiting to be the next manager after the next manager at Old Trafford as it is believed the very next one will be a failure…

      I’m struggling to work out why he would come here.

      • hoopspur says:

        Heard 2 conflicting stories here..

        First – the maximum he can get is £50k fine and “pay back the money you naughty boy, and don’t do it again”.

        and, secondly – “he is going down – Piggott styley”. Trouble is that the second one came from director level at a well known financial institution, from someone who is on national news channels weekly.


        • Chrispurs says:

          You don’t get sent down in this country for a first offence, fine and/or commuity service.
          Rape or murder possibly; the only other way is if, you’ve stole off the government….errr… Oh shite he’s going down!

      • Dickyspurs says:

        I have no issue with Arry but end of day nobody knows if he will be sent down, get a fine or get off. Problem is the trial is due to happen during preseason or early next season so needs to be a Plan B in place cos we may well end up with no manager at critical part of the season.
        Also assuming Arry is human, having a trial in crown court hanging over his head has to be affecting him and so the team.
        Coincidence or not, but the one win since February 15 started when it was confirmed in February that he was going to face trial

    • hotspurhartley says:

      I am in complete agreement with Peter4Spurs in that we should never have hired him in the first place….As for the Investigations, if he’s not sent down for his dodgy financial dealings he should be for his dodgy team selections….. :winke:

    • Lav says:

      Any donkey could get us in CL.. is that why Harry was the first manager to do so? mug

  • dubyid says:

    sick of hearing we have unreal expectations. Is it unreal to expect us to beat the four worst teams in the league? Because if we had we’d already have fourth wrapped up.

    • TMWNN says:

      This is the crux of the problem for me. It renders Redknapp’s ‘money’ excuse null and void. Redknapp was also often tactically outwitted by managers with far fewer resources last season. This isn’t misfortune, ‘one of those days’ or ‘wasn’t meant to be’, it’s just plain bad management that’s led me to believe last season was a fluke.

      • Spurfect says:

        This is a good point. The same old ‘one of them days’ and ‘wasn’t meant to be’ excuses could be applied to the 8 games he loves to tell us we only got 1 point from. You make your own luck and you dont frivolously discard the dropped points like they didnt matter anyway. You get annoyed, get up for it and you put it right. Which couldve been even another reason to get HULK in (apart from the fact we were BEGGING for a fresh striker) – you wouldnt like him when he’s angry ;)

      • Chrispurs says:

        Absolutely agree, I get totally pissed off with his excuses about how much City have spent, it may make their squad big, but it doesn’t make the players on the park better than ours. Barry was 28m, Modders 16m; no one can tell me Barry is 50% better than Modders.

        i’m sick of the guy!

      • spoletoSpur says:

        By the same rational we have no right to beat Utd, Citeh, Chelsea, Liverpool or even Arsenal as they all spend much more on wages and aside from Arsenal more on transfer fees.

        So a 6th\8th placed finish is about right?

    • Roland Rat says:

      Yes you are right, it’s unreal to expect Chelsea, Arsenal and Man City to drop points, wake up idiot.

      Barry and Modders play in two totally different positions, one is a defensive midfielder and one is an attacking midfielder. If you are going for that argument at least compare like with like. Tevez or all our forwards put together? Tevez. Money can buy you better players!

  • hoopspur says:

    I think Danny boy is now wary of European strangers. He’ll have looked at the relative success of Harry and will see that as the future at the mo.

    So Moyes, Coyle, Hughes (and Megson ; ), I hope you’ve got your mobile switched on. Walter Smith anyone?

    I’m in the “let’s keep Harry” bunch of happy campers.

    • Harry Hotspur says:

      Coyle – Ouch. I nearly fell over when he was linked with the gooners. What larks. Hughes – Oh my sweet Lord….

      If Arry goes I want Ian Dowie and I don’t want anyone else.

    • spoletoSpur says:

      Martin O’Neill?

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