RubberChopsGoesBallisticDefoeIsAtrocious

We done ’em.

But to listen to some of the natives we actually lost 1-2 and were relegated ourselves. I have listened to Arry and I have listened to the voices of discontent. I am one of those voices, to an extent. No sentient being likes being called an idiot. And as I hopefully made the point in my Gerald Ratner piece, Arry is sailing naffin’ close to the wind here.

He lacks many things but good grace  has now emerged as something he wouldn’t recognise if it painted itself pink, leaped out of a birthday cake and singing ‘Good Grace Is Here Again’ to a full orchestral accompaniment. Clearly the hostile nature of The Lane is getting to him. Well if you can’t stand the heat…

And such is the advice I’d also give to those demanding his dismissal. Okay, he’s biting the hand that feeds, I get that. But so what? The man’s clearly a fool but if there’s a hanging to be had let’s hang him on his achievements or lack of them as a manager. Not on his inability to cope with being asked pretty straightforward questions by a bloke with a microphone.

I’m more concerned with his ability to put right the wrongs of the last window and sort out a goalie – if all faith in Gomes is lost, – a striker to partner Pav, and another defender to acknowledge that Woody is a gonner and Ledders is nothing more than an occasional treat.

The bottom line is that we have European football and I think some have lost sight of what that means. We mustn’t allow ourselves to degenerate into becoming part of those disagreeable Droogs  that seem incapable of humor, of joy.

These Droogs, these low brow beasts expect us to win every game and for no one to ever make a mistake. Sure, when I see Jermaine J**** has been telling some poor hack that he’s determined to push on for a fourth place finish my first urge is remove his larynx with gardening trowel, but I don’t call time on my support for the whole shebang.

There is a expediency these days in football that would make the be-headings during the French Revolution appear considered. Carlo Ancelotti has been binned or binned by mutual consent at Second Hand Fridge. This is nothing shy of insane.

Clearly an intelligent man. A winner as both a player and as a manager. He oversaw a Cheatski side that had their number one goalscorer out with Malaria and their 20 goals a season midfield supremo out with injury and still finished second. The verdict? Not good enough, ‘Miss Jones might you be so kind as to send the next candidate in, thank you so much.’

No Champions League football is a disappointment but hardly plunges us into raging sea of ‘can’t cope without you’. Does it? Does it really? The positives of Arry’s reign appear to some to have been eclipsed by not only his daft comments but by his mistakes. Have they really?

Arry’s backed wrong horses. If any of you venture into a bookmakers, you will notice that most customers after placing their bets have no need to make a return trip to the counter to collect. Whilst we would expect him to have a higher success rate than your average punter, the point I make is that everybody makes mistakes.

Football management is no different to any other discipline and the fewer you make, the better you do.

Defoe has been a complete flop. 3 MP has been as useful as a puncture in a life-jacket. Yes I am aware of him single handed scoring that goal wot got us into the Champions League but I am equally aware of the other one he scored that confirmed we were out of it.

Arry has made mistakes, but getting to the quarter finals of the Champions League, a booking for another, if less glamorous European tour, if compounded by retaining the services of the Boy Bale and Modders cannot be judged as a disgrace.

Yes he needs to pull his finger out and buy in chaps for where we are light, yes he needs to wake up and realise that out of our existing strikers Pav is the only one worth retaining.

Arry has limited skill sets. He can’t communicate well with ‘non nationals’. Is telling Pav to run about a bit actually all that funny when you discover that it’s true? Trust me, he’s replace Modders with Scott Parker if he could get away with it. ‘Well at least you can talk to ‘im’ would be the line.

Instead of calling us idiots, he’d do well to listen before opening that seeping East End drain of a gob of his. Remember when he was about to bring Ghally on and suddenly thought better of it? Try a bit more of that Arold my old china. Crouch was verbally abused (I suspect he probably prefers a more hands on, mildly lubed approach) yesterday by a Client Reference number. Twice.

Pav scored a pair of Champions League quality goals and when he’s in the ground we sing his name.

Look, I’ve got to make some lunch. But what I’m saying is, the abuse on both sides is partly justified but let’s not lose sight of what we’ve got here and where we’re heading. And remember what a great man once said…