The Conversation

Here is the transcription of the conversation that took place between Luka Modric and Daniel Levy. The legality of this transcript and indeed the means used to procure it are of course highly dubious. It is my certin belief that what was done was in the public interest. Let the chips fall as they may.

*An intercom on a telephone beeps*

Woman’s voice: Daniel, Luka Modric to see you.

DL: Thank you Tallulah.  Send her in.

*Office noise, chair moving at the same time a door opening the clunk of closing. Silence*

LM: I want to Chelsea.

DL: How very nice to see you. Refreshed after your jaunt on the Adriatic? We were fortunate to celebrate a friend’s birthday down there last year. The food was superb.

LM: I…

DL: Goodness wherever are my manners. Do sit down. You should have a cold drink, I’m having an iced tea.*on intercom* Tallulah, could you bring us in a jug of tea and two glasses, please*

LM: I have played with my heart in all appearances Mr President.

DL: Oh please, no need to be so formal, Luka. We’re friends. Mr Levy will be just fine.

*door opens once more and a clinking tray is placed down*

DL: Oh scrummy. Shall I be mother?

LM: Mr Levy…

DL: Yes Luka.

*pouring  sounds; clunking of ice cubes against glass*

LM: I want to Chelsea. You and I have agreed that when bid come we are both happy.

DL: Sorry?

LM: Bid has arrived that is mutual for us

DL: Luka, it’s rather close in here, don’t you think? I’m hesitant to open a window as the air conditioning is supposedly on, but you’d hardly know it. These things tend not to age terribly well, but this really is splendid tea.

[hushed tone] My secretary tells me she makes it herself but of course I see all the receipts [chuckles] But as long as it tastes this good who minds where it comes from, eh!

LM: Mr Levy my contract.

DL: Yes it is… let me see now- *papers shuffling*- yes all in order. Did you not get a copy?

LM: I have copy. I have desire to move now.

DL: That’s rather unfortunate. This contract has rather a long time to run it was only signed, let me see…

LM: I told you that I would make an environment to leave that would be mutual for us when bid came!

DL: I do recall you saying something.

*sound of a chair creaking*

Sorry, what are you after there?

LM: I would like drink tea now.

DL: That’s my tea.

LM: You offer me tea. I am thirsty here.

DL: No, I suggested that you should have a cold drink.

LM: So now I want tea. It is here.

DL: Yes there is tea here, but not for you.

LM: You have two glasses! This is stupid. I want to move we agreed.

DL: No. We did not agree. You told me that if a bid came in we would look at it.

LM: So now we look! Bid here!

DL: I have looked at it. I don’t care for it. This tea is nectar. You really ought to have had something.

LM: Ok. Give me glass.

DL: I don’t want to.

LM: Give me move.

DL: I don’t want to.

LM: I am leaving here. You are a very arrogant and… and raunchy man.

*door slams*

DL: Hark at her, I’m not the one in pleated snow wash jeans.

*begins to softly sing, ‘Everybody Was Kung Foo Fighting’ complete with random, ‘HiyYah!’ type noises inbetween lyrics whilst clearly moving about office*