Oh Do Shut Yer Cakehole…

Good morning?

Arry Redschnapps is a good football manager. Say what you want, make all the wobbly chops gags you like, his record speaks for itself. The 2 points from 8 games quote t-shirt is still available from the HH Schmutter Dept at a price you can afford, global delivery available.

However, whilst he’s a talented manager I’d argue his instincts for self preservation are superior to anything he’s demonstrated on a football pitch. I won’t bore you with a blow by blow account of his entire career, but old Aitch has crawled out of more exploding, flaming, twisted debris than Bruce Willis did in the entire Die Hard franchise.

The point when I really grasped what was going on was when Arry did that interview out of his car window, saying that the Chairman was keen to spend, probably keener than he was to bring in new players.

It was then I believe, that it dawned on our Arry he had inadvertently put himself well and truly on offer if things went mammary glands up. From that moment on we’ve been nurtured on a diet of ‘I dunno’s’ and ‘I wish I could tell yous.’

The reality of course that there is money to spend but much of it is tied up in deadbeats that aren’t good enough to get selected for the first team squad in a friendly. And here’s a revelation, Arry can buy – but he appears incapable of selling. No wonder he got stroppy over being branded a wheeler dealer. He can wheel with the best of ’em, but his dealing leaves much to be desired.

There’s a fine line between being a good buyer and simply being a good spender. As anyone with a girlfriend or wife can testify…

And so to these Modric comments. I have to ask, just who’s side are you on Arry? The Chairman of the club has emphatically stated that the player is not for sale. A bid has been refused without consideration. The pitiful, ‘No like chicken badge’ whining of the player has been nothing but a source of amusement.

Yet ‘Ardball Arry the business guru seems to believe it’s good idea to tell the press that the transfer to Chelsea could yet happen. He also believes that the monies generated would be useful in bringing in fresh players to boost the squad.

What a plum. The motivation for this witless revelation isn’t poor ickle Modric’s little boy lost routine in training, it is Arry – as per -thinking of himself.

Sketch 1. Flog Modders – ‘It’s not my fault, what could I do ? It was a lotta lolly, the boy wanted to go’.

Sketch 2. Arry then gets his hands on the transfer fee and I would imagine makes all too predictable megabids for people like Scotty Parker. He spends and takes a punt we can get 4th.

Sketch 3. Then when it all goes down the tube – ‘It’s not my fault, what could I do ? The Chairman says he weren’t for sale, then he sells our best player’.

Redschnapps needs to keep his head down and focus upon the task for which he is employed to do. If he’s feeling chatty, he should start ringing round his galaxy of footy mates and make a concerted effort to offload the deadbeats.

BIOYC!