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Exclusive Snap Explaining Why Pav Was Pants

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Still on for the treble then.

Good morning born again wireless enthusiasts. I trust you all rounded off your evening’s aural entertainment with a warming cup of Ovaltine and a fistful of mogadons.

In fairness to the radio johnnies they captured the mood perfectly .Their minds wandered towards anything that was more interesting than the game. The fact that the hot water boiler at the Brittania was kaput so no tea (how they yearned for milk and two shugs) and the early departure of gentleman sporting an comb over to rival that of George Roper’s.

So only 1500 odd Tottingham fans saw it. You happy few. A few reports have trickled in and they all match the misery we imagined when listening. The reality that a noble few are determined to gloss over is the fact that playing second string players makes for third rate viewing and in this case …abject failure.

It’s just not the Tottingham way. Just like grinding out 1-0’s aren’t either. I predicted 0-0 and did so with a heavy heart. Bloody Stoke ferchrissakes. But no, I am told it is good for us to give the yoofsters out.

Cod liver oil is good for you too and as it is equally grim on the palate the overwhelming majority folk avoid it like the plague.

I have to ponder where we could end up if we extend the logic on all this. ‘It’s only the Europa, it’s only the Carling, it’s just the FA Cup’… Having an old fashioned football is going out of fashion. Players want £200k a week and then are goaded at gunpoint away from their mansions; away from scantiliy clad hypnotizing hookers writhing on water beds with jelly beans nestled in their belly buttons, past  fleets of exotic cars in order they ‘run about a bit’ …in a TV studio.

Eventually football matches will be decided . Presented by soulless lady-boys like Georgie Thompson and Ben Shepherd eyes glazed will host a game not dissimilar to Top Trumps. Maybe a quick fire question round.

‘Wayne, who was …Sir Matt Busby?!’

*silence the he grins awkwardly some dribble appears at the corner of his mouth* ‘Could do with a fag… errrr was him what did them adverts for the telephone in the 70’s?’

The camera cuts to Alan Hansen, ‘Noo, THAT’S shocking!’ *canned laughter*

Categories will include Boot Sponsor Value, Japanese Incontinence Towel Advert Revenues and Bodily Organ Upgrade Points reflecting that players have so much cash that they now opt to install better organs to enhance their game. You know, like those old computer driving games where you won cash on each race and could then upgrade your wheels or your suspension.

And so the Carling door shuts and what have we learned? Well, all those who are glad we are no longer in the competition have taken another step closer to a Top Trump Footy utopia.


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106 comments

  • NN says:

    Not a fan of Harry, but wouldn’t slate him for yesterday. He should not have played the strongest eleven at Stoke and he should be rotating and giving the nippers a run where he can. I think injuries told in the end. If we had the likes of Hudd, PeeWee, Daws, Gallas fit and available we would have had enough. We nearly did as it was and in a period where we have four games in ten days, only one at home and one of the other three in Greece, he rightly gave us maximum chance in the games against ‘Pool (six pointer) and Wigan because – and not to sacrifice the other comps – the league IS the most important for the Club’s progression, balanced with the other two. Not sure that is arguable?

    The above doesn’t stop him being a self centred twat whose mouth is at least two minutes ahead of his brain and who is incapable of taking us further than he has.

    That, however, doesn’t erode the credit he deserves for improving us to the level he has done.

    As TMWNN said above, it is all about ambition.

    • Colin SC says:

      Rotation only makes sense when you have the right mixture, and sometimes hindsight bites yer bum. We are in a transitional period and it seems we have some good young players coming through. I hope ledley can get his skills into some of our youth squad and we end up with a full team of healthy full strength youthful players and a HUGE Stadium and .. and . and…

  • Spurs77 says:

    What’s up with you lot? Redknapp is the manager of a side that I can now be proud of, a side that I expect to win most weeks. Does no-one remember Gerry Francis, Christian Gross, David Pleat, George Graham and bundles of average players?

    We have a young exciting squad who by and large play exciting, free flowing football.

    I’m 34 and taking nothing for granted. For most of my living memory we’ve been average at rhe best, I’m enjoying the club now because as a Spurs supporter I know it could all go tits up soon!

    COYS

    • NN says:

      The Club did go through an extended mediocre spell, but I wouldn’t measure expectation against that era. I measure it against where we were before we entered into it. We are not a mediocre Club, despite what Harry would have the world believe.

      Great that we are at last coming out of it, at the same time it is crucial we capitalise on the opportunity.

      All about ambition.

  • rich says:

    Why do people keep slating Gio? He tried his best yesterday unlike Pav who never has since he signed. He has never had a chance and the odd game in the stiffs being played out of position isn’t a chance. He rarely moans and said that although he wanted a move given his lack of opportunity he will try his best out of respect to the club and the fans. He has been true to his word even though he is still being used as a wide man which he clearly isn’t. He should never be grouped along with Pav who is useless lazy and doesn’t give a fcuk about the fans that sing his inane song.

  • el says:

    Thank fcuk we’ve fewer cup matches to distract us from the serious business of a top 4 attempt. And more good news:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2039781/Spurs-White-Hart-Lane-revamp-moves-step-closer.html

  • el says:

    .
    Pav’s never been good enough. How many years will it take before he’s replaced by someone who is? Beats me but jenas is a worrying example of what the answer to that question might be.

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