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My Name Is Carlos Tevez And Answering The Iron Was My Idea

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Good afternoon, ladies.

Well that’s ironic. Turns out Michael Dawson’s Achilles heel was in fact his Achilles. Some people wander the planet for years in fear of having one, not knowing what if they have one or if they do what exactly it might be; living in the shadow of the unknown nature of their downfall. And Michael’s was right under his nose all the time. Or in this instance his sock.

It will be under several noses soon though. One belonging to specialist and then one would imagine another belong to someone wielding a scalpel. That leaves our back four a back three plus Bassong and the ever improving Sgt Walker. 

I have to put ever improving or there will be civil disorder. I made a negative, yet truthful comment about him a few weeks ago and some appear to have taken that as a signal that I loathe him and wished him dead. This is not the case. One of the luxuries of being a free thinking human being is you are allowed to call things as you see them be they good bad or indifferent. You don’t have to wander around like stuck record…

Our ashen faced tight lipped supremo has been issuing forth and has declared an interest ion Carlos Tevez. All the very best things and the very worst things about football hanging off just one endoskeleton. I think discussing his potential move to N17 on wages subsidised wages is unlikely, unless of course news was to emerge that the entire Abu Dahbi Group were dropped on their head as babies and the effects of said collective bump have only just begun to show in the last few months…

Tevez is a bit of a Suarez character to me, which is to say his character is one I find wholly unappealing and so a man I’d be quite happy never to see donning the Lilywhite shirt.

Last up we have a revealing comment from Arry about feeling sorry for Defoe and that Pav has to fight if he wants to play. This only ‘reveals’ the bleedin’ obvious that Arry thinks Defoe is somehow ‘owed’ a starting spot.

I think we’ll win tomorrow. The Hooped ones do lapse into playing some decent football now and again, but I think they’re a bit overrated. Their biggest weakness being their lack of genuine bite in attack. Hang on, which side was I describing there?

Prediction 3-1 the last goals coming late in the show. The threat of live blogging is averted due to cheese string and yoghurt pots giving me quality control concerns. So we’ll just get stuck into some player ratings and all that jazz afterwards.

BIOYC!

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