Definitive Player Ratings

Good morning.

Immediate thoughts from me are that Aston Villa are not only not very good at playing football but actually looking a bit broken. I never thought Downing or Young were exceptional players but the stock of both has undeniably improved since leaving the depressing slow motion quicksand of Villa Park.

I remember writing of Villa a long time ago that they were a bit of a nothingy outfit. A ghost ship occasionally bumping into other sides lifting the odd point off of unsuspecting souls. What a fitting home for J****.

So you can only play the lot in front of you.  And boy did we play. Spurs flew out the traps and it was only the early stretch of the second half they braked a little to mop up Aston Villa’s half hearted attempt at joining in.

Tactically we probably benefited from Alex McLeish being in need of some really expensive psychiatric treatment. Arry’s insistence to pollute the game with Defoe sent me into a fit of rage that petered out the more times I kept looking at the score. The Dutchman wasn’t done and once he was replaced with a goal hanger we were a man down.

7 Had zip to do for the most part. Important to remember that his one save was not only very very good, but had it gone in, and you can suspend your disbelief, may have inspired more from them.

 7 His best showing yet. No mucking about and looked every bit like an integral part of the team. More please, young man.

 9 He’s a weapon. No nonsense and determined. If he was a private eye, he’d be Frank Cannon. Everytime he struck the ball by head or hoof there was a boooooooooooooooof! type noise wheeze out of it.

8 Those new multi-directional ballbearing housings are working a treat. Talismanic is an over used word in football. Not here. Christ knows how good he’d be if he fully fit.

7 Don’tcha wish your left back was A&E, Don’tcha? Don’tcha? Assured performance from a man who arrived on an invisible motorcycle and probably left under Manu’s armpit.

 6 Our weakest link. Given the opposition we were due a far superior performance. This isn’t harsh, we’re on our best run since 1837 according to the bloke on the telly last night. We need players right now who are going to add value.

 8 Worth approximately 17 times what we paid for him. He rarely lets anyone down. The fight, the spirit in him shames so many. One of the best buys in my lifetime.

 9 A Champions League performance which got better and better the longer the game went on. His passing really was quite exemplary.

 8 He was very busy boy. Really very close to scoring. Made endless lovely contributions and was just off getting his toe around the ball and taking what I’m sure would have been a memorable goal.

 8 In his element and looking far far fitter than he has in long time. His mix of determination and inventiveness is a pleasure. A real ‘can do’ attitude. Top man.

  9 I’m charmed by him. His work ethic and talent are a joy to behold. Absolutely loving him stroll off with his arms around the officials. Oh yes and that goal was a triffic piece of skill. Anyone who doubts him isn’t in their right mind.

minus 4 Neopolitan swordsman was irritating. Like television set on honeymoon. Unnecessary.