Does Arry Redschnapps Need Psychiatric Help?

Good evening. 

I’m serious. Looking around the Net since his inexplicable ‘interview’ on Sky late this afternoon and I now want to voice concern over his mental state. 

When he was managing us at full steam, 8 points from 2 games and all that jazz well, yes he did wheel out plenty of ‘triffics’ and ‘for sures’ but it was little more than anyone with a bit of character having perfectly normal idiosyncrasies.

I’m not for a moment suggesting a man frequently using the same phrases and a similar style of speaking is an indication of mental fragility. But based upon this afternoon, some people must be asking questions.

‘Has he told Sandra he got the bullet?’ ‘Does he realise that this stuff is being shared with lots of people who haven’t been sectioned under the Mental Health Act?’

I get that people who aren’t in a job in football tend to float about. That’s quite normal. You’ll get Alan Curbishly pop up as a pundit on the telly. Maybe hear Phil Brown’s silky tones on the radiogramme. You may well have had Ian Dowie knock on your door of an afternoon, offering to tarmac your drive. 

But since the England fiasco Arry has emerged as a real life Walter Mitty. The FA spent 80% of their press conference unveiling of Hodgson underlining endlessly that he was the only person they considered, contacted and interviewed. 

Arry appeared blissfully unaware of the fact that no news primarily means, there is no news. If the phone doesn’t ring, this is not necessarily an indicator that the National Lottery people are still arduously trying to calculate the precise enormity of your win. The phone not ringing is an indication that all that you can be truly certain of is that it hasn’t rung. 

And as the dark days of Arry losing his grip on his responsibilities (you know, day to day coaching of the team, that sort of thing) began to grip THFC by the jugular it now seems suspiciously like that he was simultaneously losing his hold on reality.

I said to the chairman “can you get me Carlos Tevez?”

The funny thing was my mobile had like an ansaphone thing on it and they never told me. It was chock-a-block, apparently.

We looked at Suarez. He was a player who we  probably should have taken, looking back on it. We just weren’t sure.

I wanted to back in oranges at half time, you can’t do it these days, health and safety I suppose.

I actually tried to sign him for Tottenham before he went to Manchester City.

We was close to signing Christiano Ronaldo last year but Bondy only left his pen back at the hotel.

And the terrifying thing is that I only made 50% of the quotes up.

So on a serious note, when someone has reached a point where they predisposed to doing or saying insane things, almost as a default setting, then it is down to the rest of us to try and do the the right thing.  

You do not offer Paul Gascoigne a drink.  Sky and you too talkSPORT please, think about what you’re doing and don’t …offer Arry a microphone.