Hotspur’s Hunches #13

Good morning and welcome to the only online betting guide brought to you in association with Alcoholics Anonymous and Assisted Deaths (Enfield) Ltd. If this service was a noise, it would be that bugle blast that Ryan play everytime their planes land on time. Irritating and having no guarantee of accuracy about it.

Sunderland meet West Brom. For those of you trying to adjust your Premier League tables do not bother. The Baggies are indeed 3rd. Their away form isn’t good, however Sunderland don’t have any form worth discussing home or away. In the interests of football I’d like to see Steve Clarke put Martin O’Neil to the sword here but the threat of a tedious draw has to be the favourite. Prediction 0-2

Everton vs Norwich could potentially be a beyond dull game. Everton been playing what a 1950’s football commentator would call ‘some very spirited’ football this term but they seem to get bogged down against lesser sides. Hughts will be travelling knowing that a draw wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. I think the King Of The Clipboard may just manage to stifle David Moyes. Prediction: 1-1

Manchester United take on QPR and this has got to be a fascinating fixture from a number of perspectives. If QPR get anything here then Mark Hughes’ dead duck of a managerial career will be well and truly cremated for all time. Arry Redschnapps the world’s leading Crisis Manager is a fox and looks not take charge until full time at the earliest. Prediction: 6-0

Stoke play Fulham and Wigan entertain Reading. If anyone watching either of these games is entertained I’ll be amazed. Predictions: 1-1 across the board.

Aston Villa face Arsenal and I can’t understand why Lambert who has so far sailed the good ship Villa into the relegation won’t play Bent. I’m no Bent fan, but desperate times call for desperate measures and right now the Brummies could do with a shin in or two. So this will either be a scrappy draw or a route, largely dependent upon what frame of mind the Gunners are in when they get off the coach. Prediction 1-4

Swansea vs Liverpool Another opportunity for Brendon Rodgers to drone on and on about respect, tradition, the fans …please shoot me now. I hope Swansea smash them. Prediction 1-1.

Southampton are at home to Newcastle and it’s looking like a long old season for Nigel Adkins. On the up side, the likelihood of him getting the bullet is very small. There’s no money and a team that have sadly been promoted beyond themselves. Pardew will be looking to cash in but Toon’s form is nothing to coo over. It’s a long coach ride back to Geordieland with anything less than 3 points. Prediction a coupon busting 2-1

Chelsea vs Man City and the generously proportioned waiter of Spanish decent will need a win or his own fans will tear him apart. Nice crowd. Family people. If your surname is Manson. The sad thing is I can see Chelsea wining this. The blue racists will as ever be wanting to show the world that the players call the shots and justify the bad mouthing that cost Bob Matthews his job. Prediction 3-1.

Tottingham and West Ham then. The hysteria from those who want AVB binned will reach a pitch that only dogs can hear if we don’t win this. A draw is unacceptable. To hell with having players. ‘Just get on with it and win, Mr Bean!’ God I’m sick of listening to the opinions of stupid people. If we don’t win I may make the next blog about this week’s Strictly Come Dancing. Prediction 2-1.