Mistaken Identity

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Barring a case of mistaken identity on par with confusing Tommy Cooper for Ronnie Corbett, Tottenham Hotspur’s Club Captain Ledley King was nicked at around half two outside Punk Nightclub in Soho this morning.

A Scotland Yard spokeswoman said: “A twenty eight year old man was arrested on suspicion of ABH following an allegation of assault made by a man in his twenties.” The reports from the Beeb and the Telegraph go on to say that it is understood the aggreived declined the offer of medical attention.

The offer to talk to the press wasn’t shunned however and for those of you with SSN, he should be on again in a minute as they loop him complaining of a sore head.

Actual Bodily Harm, is not good. And I am told by my legal advisors, Shyster, Shyster & Flywheel ABH is widely regarded as being considerably worse than littering but less serious than murder.

Doormen at the venue are saying King was refused admission and responded with a rendition of the overpaid gobby footballer’s theme tune, I’m Jack The Biscuit. Which is to say lots of don’t you know who I am‘s, you’re on a tenner an hour, and you’re rubbish etc etc…

Madam booze is a cruel mistress.

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