Date: 27th August 2010 at 7:14pm
Written by:
Top Tip for ’s next game:

If you’re watching on Sky+ press pause and wait a second before pressing play. Being a second or two behind the live play will give you that authentic Emile Heskey viewpoint.

I’ve come up with a fantastic money making idea; I’m buying blank DVDs in bulk and selling them off as Uruguay v France highlights.

My wife called me an annoying c*nt the other day.

I almost choked on my Vuvuzela.

I can’t believe we only managed a draw against a shit team we should easily have beaten.

I’m ashamed to call myself Algerian.

Osama Bin Laden has appeared in his latest video claiming the England football team are shit.
British intelligence said, ‘ This doesn’t prove he’s still alive. The video could have been made anytime in past 40 yrs.’

To all those women who watch the football and shout “pass it to Frank, ”   or “bring Joe Cole on”, f*ck off. You didn’t see me at Sex And The City 2 shouting “do her up the arse”.

I asked if he thought England would go 4-4-2 today. He said “No, I think we will go 7-4-7, it’s bigger and offers more leg room.”