Spurs & Bremen Both ‘Riddled’ With Gout

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Werder Bremen announced today their list of players unfit to play in tonight’s fixture totals 11. In an exclusive interview earlier this morning with Thomas Schaaf the  Bremen coach I was told, ‘Zey are alles die ganze Zeit betrunken H, meine alte mate.’

‘Zer Füße areswollen und nutzlos.’ Tom went on,  ‘Ich bin eine bit kippered.’

This of course is a malaise not unique to those Sausage Side but here too in these once proud, Spectic Isles.

Arry Redschnapps announced that their was a question mark over Gareth Bale after a shoulder of Gordons Gin injury was picked up at the Emptycrates  and admitted Raphael Van Der Vaart is, ‘struggling’ with a half case of vintage Champagne.

The consequences of tonight’s game are straightforward enough. If Werder Bremen lose they exit the competition. If Spurs win then they will have qualified for the next round. Hurrah. The outcome of what other permutations lead to are beyond me.

Here’s some crazy bets to exaggerate that end of the month fiscal pinch when none of ’em come in! There’s a free £20 bet if you drop a tenner in the links, btw.

Last goalscorer Jenarse 18/1 HERE

First Tottenham player to score Crazypavinchenko 7/2 HERE

Enhanced Treble – Spurs, Man Utd & Inter all to win 7/2 HERE

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