Arsenal Release Statements From Suspects

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The beautiful game has once again been shamed and disgraced at the handsĀ  of Arsenal Football Club.

News broke late last night on France 2’s website that Interplod where investigating suspicious betting patterns during Saturday’s Premier League game between Newcastle United and Arsenal.

This morning Harry Hotspur understands several Arsenal men have come forward and released statements in order to protest their innocence.

Mr Way Pawlor – ‘Betting scam? Look I ain’t got a pot. The ex-wife took the lot, alwight?.’

Mt Tony Adams – ‘I’d love to help but I’ve been on the Cider since last Tuesday.’

Mr Paul Merson – ‘I fink that sahnds brilliant,mate. This is nailed on, yeah?’

Mr Graham Rix – ‘I can’t do any more bird. Leave me alone, I’ve paid my debt.’

Mr Sol Campbell – ‘I was at home that night with some young Am Dram friends.’

Mr Graham Stack –‘I wasn’t me but if it was, it was 100% consensual.’

Mr Robin Van Persie ‘It wasn’t me either. But if it was, it consensual also.’

Mr Tomas Rosicky – ‘Please, I always play this badly.’

The case continues…

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