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Friday Sermon

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I went to bed last night with a mild sense of unease. Awoke with a full on pain in my shoulder and then it dawned on me. My goat. The goat was gone. I’d not switched on the TV for more than a few minutes and it everything fell into place.

Sluralix had got my goat.

“You hope you get a really strong referee in games like this, it was a major game for both clubs and you want a fair referee, you know … You want a strong referee, anyway, and we didn’t get that. I don’t know why he’s got the game. I must say that, when I saw who was refereeing it, I feared the worst.”

So he’s been hit with an improper conduct charge. What a pity it wasn’t strapped to the front grille of a speeding and out of control rubbish truck. Tied with a bow around on of those blackened strapped on teddy bears from the 1970’s. Mad Max meets The Sopranos meets the FA.

The petulance of Sluralix appears never ending. Just when you think that the self indulgent Scotchman couldn’t possibly be any more self absorbed he effortlessly demonstrates his conceit comes from a place so low even the cockroaches have hunchbacks.

Ferguson has refused to be interviewed by the BBC since 2004.He’s a Premiership football manager. Not some mad animal loving biddy  who’s issued a fatwa on Look North East because their weather girl innocently said it would be raining ‘cats and dogs’ one night 30 years ago.

This was after the broadcaster had the gall to ‘probe’ the business activities of his son, Jason who was then operating as a football agent in a documentary called, ‘ Father And Son.’  Sluralix gave the show both barrels bemoaning the unfairness of being picked on by the BEEB an organisation notorious of course for operating above the law…

“But it is such a huge organisation that they will never apologise. They don’t even care if you sue them or whatever, because they are so huge and have insurance. They carry on regardless and it’s breathtaking.”

Hang on, Snowy. Run that by me again. In fact don’t. Just answer one specific question. Yes or no.

Q: Did the BBC get sued?

A: Err, no.

I don’t know about you, but if one of my nearest and dearest had been subjected to snide, unfounded and outrageous slurs and I was a multi millionaire mischief maker I’d have them up before the Beak before you could say, ‘Two large Bushmills, love.’ What’s that phrase, ‘Sue or be damned?’ There were allegations of ‘brown envelopes’ to quote the Manchester United supremo himself. Hardly a passing swipe at hunky Dunc’s suits.

A press release from the BBC on Father And Son is HERE.

But that was only one instance of the monsters that lurk in the shadows. There are plenty more. Let’s look at the case of  Darren Ferguson. Darren Ferguson is a football manager. I can’t tell you if he’s a very good one.

But I can tell you Dunc had a riches to rags career as a player. He started off at Manchester United and as time went by he worked his way down through the ranks to Wolves, Wrexham then eventually … Peterborough. Funny that, most players find their career paths take them in the opposite direction. Can’t work that out. Oh well.

It was at The Posh that he became player manager. He had a good run in his first season. His second wasn’t so hot and he left by mutual consent with his side scrapping against relegation.

Dunc then became manager at Preston North End in January 2010. No one in their right mind could rewrite that debacle as even a vague success. By the September he’d not only picked up his own FA charge of misconduct (funnily enough after a verbal bust up with a referee) but been branded one of the worst managers to have ever mismanaged the club in it’s history. His stats were: After P 49, W 13, D 12, L 24.

It wasn’t the sight of Dunc being fired out of a cannon from the Wirral area that caught the attention of football fans. It was the fact that his precious father recalled three Manchester United players – Joshua King, Ritchie de Laet and Matthew James – from Preston with immediate effect. You’d have thought that the departure of such an abysmal manager would have been a positive and Sluralix might have even extended their loans as a consequence.

So we’ve learned that one of the most successful football teams in the world is being managed by a seventy year old child.

It’s a sorry reality that no matter how many fleeting glimpses we get of the monsters, no matter how deep the debt becomes, no matter how many laws and good practices are trampled underfoot the Fuhrer’s bunker just becomes more and more lavish. Let’s hope it’s fireproof as surely the only stunt left for Sluralix at this stage is spontaneous human combustion.

I just want my goat back. Uncharred.

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46 comments

  • top post Mr H, should stick you in the room with that ol’ soak when he’s up on this charge…. Odds are he will get a small slap on his gold watch adorned wrist.

    Funny how he wasn’t too worried about Clattenburg’s ridiculous performance t’other day. Makes ya sick!

  • lecoqhardi says:

    On a similar theme, Simon Barnes in The Times lists his 3 Most Grotesque Players of the year. If I wasn’t an IT incompetent, I’d give you a link. Worth buying the paper, though.
    1 The Dog Terry
    2 Trashley Cole
    3 Shrek

  • cyril says:

    well this behaviour will continue until/unless stopped. he is hardly going to discover self-discipline at his age. who can stop it? i would like to think the fa might grow a pair but they are so concerned to not upset the clubs and further strengthen the league to the detriment of the fa that they wont. frankly it needs government action, a commissioner of football, all powerful. old purple nose does not speak on the tv, 50k fine. next week 100,000. when they bring the bullies at the top into line half the job will have been done re the players. “mr rooney, that elbow just cost you 8 games, and a 150k fine for bring thing game into disrepute”. next time 20 games and 4 weeks salary, guess what, there wont be a next time. swear at the referee, one weeks wages, next time 3 weeks and a two match ban. some of these players are really and truly stupid so it might take some of them a while to learn, but within 3 months the prob has been eliminated. then focus on the refs, but dont muddy the waters re the attrocious behaviour of the players by getting side-tracked on a discussion re clatttenburg. we all know he is an idiot, mendes “goal” showed that before the debacle this year where a player rolled around in the utd penalty area holding up the ball and yet advantage was somehow played within four feet of the tottenham goal, hell of an advantageous position that. yes he is an idiot, but first deal with the players and managers. once the refs are no longer intimidated by the bullies we might find they perform better and we dont need to fire so many

  • cyril says:

    of course that should say a utd player in the spurs penalty area

  • Sid Trotter says:

    SLurAlix is clearly used to getting his own way. But I want to know where he got his own way from in the first place. I’ve been to B&Q, Homebase and Asda and had no joy whatsoever.

    Wolves 1 – 2 Spurs

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