Player Ratings – With Added Fluoxetine

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Raking through the bones of that game would be as useful as getting a pathologist to examine some roadkill to see if the poor creature had diabetes prior to being run over.

West Ham didn’t squish us so much as relentlessly deny us. It would be churlish to just rant at the strikers. So I’ll have a pop at Arry first if I may. When the team you’re playing changes their strategy, it’s a good idea to rethink your own.

Redschnapps has spoken of hesitancy in the last transfer window. We saw it again today. Defoe was selfish again and again yet H was convinced there was a goal in him. Pav actually offered a touch of 18 yard box creativity but was brought on too late.

West Ham put as many men as they could behind the ball yet we had neither the wit or the imagination to change our plan. Bale drew a minimum of two men every time he got the ball – can anyone recall a decent cross in from him? Wayne Bridge muffled Azza Blud also. But still we ploughed on making no gain from bossing the midfield.

Charlie gave the ball away or made a fist of his possession on virtually every single occasion he had the damn thing in the first half. Again, this was allowed to carry on and on and on.

On this showing Real Madrid must be bricking it.

Gomes 7 Didn’t do much, did it well
A&E 7 Mostly very assured
Charlie 4 Slow & clumsy
Gallas 4 What was with the endless back-passes?
Dawson 6 Sensational. For the first 20 minutes
Sandro 7.39 Triffic
Modric 8 Our Champions League class player
Azza Blud 6 Bar the shot failed to make a difference
Bale 7.92 Intelligent and committed
VDV 6.57 Fit?
Defoe 4 For Sale with any luck
Pav 6.56 Tried
Begbie 6 Should be an 8 – twice as good as Charlie
Chris Coleman – Britain’s Most Stupid Human
Redschnapps – Not to be confused with Mourinho

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  • Spurstacus says:

    The striker thing is getting boring. BORINGGGGGG.

    • sniftywoof says:

      but its the same every game and why did Harry start with only one striker at home suicide yet again at least Pav tried defoe must have had shit on his boots he went to ground every time he touched the ball crap in every word

  • johnhalloween says:

    les ferdinands job is what exactly????

  • Spurstacus says:

    Also slightly beginning to doubt VDV. He obviously has the talent, but when did he actually last produce. If he’s not fit, (and he does’nt look fit), he shouldn’t be playing. He never finishes a game and now he’s walking straight down the tunnel. Our best bets are still Bale, Lennon and Modders.

  • Tom says:

    Lennon was by far better than bale.
    Bale jusy keeps giving the ball away!!

  • david says:

    When VDV first came to the club and was setting the World on fire, I did ask on this forum whether anyone knew from his many previous clubs if he was likely to maintain that form or if it would tail off.
    I did not get an answer but raised the question as I could not understand why he had so many previous clubs and had spent so many matches sitting on the bench if he maintained his early form with us every week.
    It is clear he has some injury/ fitness issues but of more concern is the fact we have to change our shape to accomodate him.
    In todays game, he dropped deeper and deeper, sometimes appearing just in front of our back four, which seems a bit pointless when we have Modric playing in midfield.
    So I would say VDV is a luxury player but do we need him or would we be better off cashing in during the Summer ?
    Re the question of Bale and Lennon not putting in crosses, whats the point when only Defoe is waiting for them. ?
    Charlies first half passing was a joke but Sandro and Modric were outstanding.
    Not sure why Gallas got a 4, did not see him do anything wrong.

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