Date: 19th March 2011 at 3:55pm
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Raking through the bones of that game would be as useful as getting a pathologist to examine some roadkill to see if the poor creature had diabetes prior to being run over.

West Ham didn’t squish us so much as relentlessly deny us. It would be churlish to just rant at the strikers. So I’ll have a pop at Arry first if I may. When the team you’re playing changes their strategy, it’s a good idea to rethink your own.

Redschnapps has spoken of hesitancy in the last transfer window. We saw it again today. was selfish again and again yet H was convinced there was a goal in him. actually offered a touch of 18 yard box creativity but was brought on too late.

West Ham put as many men as they could behind the ball yet we had neither the wit or the imagination to change our plan. Bale drew a minimum of two men every time he got the ball – can anyone recall a decent cross in from him? Wayne Bridge muffled also. But still we ploughed on making no gain from bossing the midfield.

Charlie gave the ball away or made a fist of his possession on virtually every single occasion he had the damn thing in the first half. Again, this was allowed to carry on and on and on.

On this showing Real Madrid must be bricking it.

7 Didn’t do much, did it well
7 Mostly very assured
Charlie 4 Slow & clumsy
Gallas 4 What was with the endless back-passes?
Dawson 6 Sensational. For the first 20 minutes
Sandro 7.39 Triffic
Modric 8 Our class player
Azza Blud 6 Bar the shot failed to make a difference
Bale 7.92 Intelligent and committed
VDV 6.57 Fit?
Defoe 4 For Sale with any luck
Pav 6.56 Tried
6 Should be an 8 – twice as good as Charlie
Chris Coleman – Britain’s Most Stupid Human
Redschnapps – Not to be confused with Mourinho