Date: 25th March 2011 at 11:13am
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Ah, the Interlull. What joy.

International football for most of us these days is about as alluring as a Hugh Laurie Blues album. On an upbeat note for Spurs fans …just like The World According To Garp, we have nothing to fear on the Gareth Bale front as he is ‘pre-disastered’. At least it’s not his back.

The whole John Terry thing has be dredged up again of course. ‘I’m not everyone’s cup of tea,’ he told us. I’d say that’s fair comment. Unless you’re a clinical psychologist of course. Not so much a one dimensional social misfit, but a walking case study. There was a time when I saw JT as simply a deeply unpalatable figure of fun. But since he lost the England captaincy we have been exposed quite literally to a beast even more damaged and sinister than we first thought. In at least one post match Chelsea interview Terry appeared stripped to the waist bar the Captain’s armband slipped back onto the arm of his bare torso.

Son of convicted drug dealer, husband to a cautioned shoplifter. Urinater into pint pots …I am Maximus Unpleasantness and I will ‘ave me armband back!

I defy anyone to question that JT hasn’t seriously questioned getting a tattoo of the armband.

Next up is Fabio, I guess. The cool air of an Italian maestro dissolved minute by South African minute. What was left was a Spitting Image 2.0 puppet with spectacles fitted by the same people that do Heston Blumenthal.

Will Defoe score? Who knows or cares. Let’s hope that 3MP doesn’t get injured or kidnapped by wolves or whatever dark fates await those who go to Wales casually these days.

Andy Carroll Anytime Goalscorer in a protracted 0-1 is 16/1.

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