Date: 1st April 2011 at 6:53pm
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The answer of course is that it’s a pretty dumb question.

Wigan’s away section is sold out, so the humdrum of the Premier League has not been entirely dismissed. Equally there has been a bristle of activity on forums from fans wanting advice on manner of European Tour related issues. Where to purchase their Drachma, ‘is it safe to drink the water?’ and requests for a few handy phrases in foreign to get them by.

We have been subjected to the old ‘bare bones’ speech from of course. Dawson and Bassong are our only two fit centre backs. Hang on – who’s on the incredibly long list of unfit ones? I’ll take Gallas, but and Ledders have long since been converted into Prit Sticks, tubes of UHU and rolls of Sellotape, haven’t they?

The Boy did his hamstring in enroute to Cardiff. Presumably whilst trying to simultaneously plug his laptop charger in to a near impossible to reach under table socket and prevent his tea being swept of said table by the passing coats and carrier bags of fellow passengers stampeding past him. Well it’s how I did mine.

For those of you still battling the whole ascent of man process, those of us to the far right of the chart have worked out that if we don’t actually win the Champions League¬† then we must finish fourth domestically in order to qualify for it next time round. It’s true. Scientists did a study on it.

So cannot afford to be a warm up act, not treated as poor cousin or as a limbering up exercise. Our lot need to go there and show some minerals. To do less would equate to spending your rent money on hookers and fast cars but telling yourself there was nothing worry about as you’d left a tenner to spend on scratch cards and therefore everything would be cushty.

My shirt losing betting suggestion is Anytime Scorer in a 0-2 win at a Vodkatastic 18/1.

My Indian spirit guide Dave tells me to expect to start.

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