Date: 10th May 2011 at 9:19am
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Manchester City away then.

According to some top ranking statisticians a few harrowing facts have emerged today. Tottingham have drawn their last 23 games and Mick McCarthy’s 11 year old niece Kylie, has scored more goals for her school netball team than Pav, Defoe and 3MP combined.

Going into this game is like waiting on welcome but extremely unlikely news. Ben Shepherd sound remotely convincing when talking about football,  your missus telling you that left the bathroom looking emaculate, a lottery win.

This entire Premiership has been below par of course. Manchester United will win the Championship based upon being significantly less profligate than anyone else. Especially Arsenal. To a lesser extent Cheatski. The remaining European places will be scrambled for by those who can at least fake momentum and roll over the finish line.

Spurs look inept and unlikely to snatch even 5th spot. Cue the stock rant about all the points dropped long before we got here. I refuse to indulge anyone telling me it will be close. Close implies some class of neck and neck competition. This isn’t close. This is an asthmatic with a bag over his head lurching towards ‘some’ noise hoping for a respite, a kind word, a chair, a glass of water.

I fundamentally doubt Arry’s nouse to steer us through the 18 games of the Europa. I think he’d find playing our first squad in it irresistible. If we did qualify then the side entered ought be comprised of O’Hara, PSB, Hutton, Dos Santos, Jenas and such. As I mentioned here the other day, this might even make one or two of them look more appealing when it comes to flogging ’em off.

We are in for a long summer my friends. And the few satisfying moments of the season will be meager rations when the stories come stealing in. Modders in exchange for Berbatov and cash would be my favourite. Bale’s stock has fallen of late due to his inability to replicate that hat trick in every game since that game and so this might just insulate us against real threats and just produce random piffle about him being Barcelona’s number one target.

So what of tonight? Well it’s all about hoping we perform. Maxi scored three last night and yet another side in the ascendancy spanked a weakling. We have failed to do this to anyone all season. Defoe scored twice in a game once and that was just the once and aside from that he like all our other strikers has been a virtual no show.

City are uninspiring fare. We really shouldn’t fear them . We are more than capable of beating them. But should we not then it’ll be a salutary business to compare our performance against them at the beginning of the season with this one.

I’m having 5/2 the draw as it represents value. How depressing.