Star ‘Too Tired’ To Sign Autograph

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One from the You Couldn’t Make It Up Department.

A £25,000 per table of ten fund raiser took place at the Grosvenor Hotel in London on Monday night for the West Ham Acadamy. Full page adverts in the event’s programme were priced at £1000. The guests were described by the Club as ‘high profile’ and included club ‘Legends’ and some of the capital’s leading rag & bone men.

John Lyle’s family probably weren’t there as Karren Brady removed the their complimentary Season Tickets last week.

The gala turned into a brawl straight out of Carry On Cowboy. Supposedly this was sparked by Demba Ba claiming he was too tired to sign a fan’s Bull Staffy puppy.

James Corden hosted along with Ben Shepard and Stacey Solomon… well she was there. There was an auction.

Prizes included World Cup tickets (£10k the pair), Be chairman for the day (£4k), a round of golf on Golds private course with him and a day at the spa for your missus(£4k), Ali signed glove(£3k), mascot for the Man Utd game (£5k, I think), a day at the racetrack with Zola (£3k), use of the pitch at Upton Park f or a matc h/tournament (£8k), be included in the official 2010/11 team photo(£3k).

Eye witnesses reported tables being overturned, glasses being smashed. A vase was ‘high kicked’ and one MC asked the raving mob to please sit on chairs, not to throw them.’

The evening concluded with a cabaret consisting of police and security guards chasing gala guests up and down stairs, in and out lifts etc.

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  • Wowsers says:

    What scares me most is the thought of us spending £10m on Scott Parker to play in our centre midfield currently made of Sandro, Modric, Thud and Wilson.

    Why Harry?! Why?!

  • Stu-be-doo says:

    4th! Actually thats probably not the most appropriate number to write at this time..

    Bye bye Spammers :)

  • kojac says:

    too much wesr ham,who are they

    redslopp said west ham are one of the great clubs,lol,on motd2 he loves talking everything but tottenham

  • moosetheyid says:

    It would make far more sense if Harry buggers off to Wet Spam, saving us £10 mil on Parker, he could take JD and Crouch with him, put a bid in for “our Fwank” and Rio and have all his little favourites back under one roof. Then he can come out after away games at Doncaster and Barnsley etc telling anyone who’s interested, how marvellous they all are, and he’d be back at his beloved Pikeys and IMO back to his natural level

    • TMWNN says:

      Hear! Hear!

    • melcyid says:

      wot I want to know is when are the pikeys gonna own the word pikeys for themselves

    • astromesmo says:

      Actually, where’s the guy who was on here the other day saying we were racist for calling them pikey’s? Lovely chap. I think he’d wandered in by mistake from the Guardian book club or something.

      Moosey, rest yer antlers and take a deep breath, you sound like you’re going to hyperventilate any minute. :shocked2:

  • forhodssake says:

    They were obviously getting some practise in for those local friendlies with Millwall next season.

    I read somewhere that the argument had something to do with supporters racially abusing their own players – classy!

    Can you imagine the first club match at the olympic white elephant being between those two and ending up like their last meeting? That would embarass the f*ck out of the legacy committee.

    Seriously, I find myself sympathising with Avram grant a little – after the financial meltdown that Arry left behind at Portsmouth, he then found himself working for footnball’s equivalent of Trotters Independent Trading. What a bunch of clowns they are – how Brady has the nerve to appear on Lord Sugar’s show as a business expert is beyond me – she should sort her own mess of a club out first.

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