Date: 28th June 2011 at 7:14am
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Good morning ladies.

Word just in that Robert Lancelot Dyalakdags is set to make an audacious move to Blackburn Rovers then. Or at least that’s today’s rumour. Here’s his unofficial press release.

Well you see, you know yerself dis club combines all de hopes, dreams and desoires like any professional football could dreem of. Y’know? I’ll always cherish moi toime at I enjoyed playing home and away. But I have a beautiful wife who I am married to an’all and I have to think about that now. Spurs were a big part of my loife. Well of course until I got that fecking golden call from yer one at the Pool like. Blackborn are what you would have to say in fairness now, moi reel bhoyhood club. Da genuiweine wun.’

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