Date: 6th July 2011 at 8:32am
Written by:

Good morning ladies.

Forgive the brash approach so early in the day, but just what is the delay with our transfer activity? Levy & Co assured us that the perception that we do all our business in the last fifteen minutes of the window was an inaccurate one.

Whilst elsewhere, Liverpool are firing at will. Stoke want watching. Yanited aren’t mucking about. Chelsea will soon be going through the gears. Where are we?

The striker targets so far appear to be as nailed on as wet Sellotape. Admittedly we’ve brought in Brad Friedel, but seeing the snap of him in training yesterday he looked like an extra from the Addams Family.

Meanwhile we’re trying to get another 50p for Begbie.

If the market worth of Begbie, PSB and others has been reassessed and they are now more keenly priced, then let’s sell them. I can imagine what the hold up is though. Their agents. The likes of J**** are sitting pretty on a contract with gawd knows how many years left to go on it. Suddenly Blackburn or whoever come in and offer him the  opportunity of a lifetime to take a pay cut and go and live in a northern toilet.

Players who aren’t likely to advance the cause need to have it made perfectly clear that barring an act of God they won’t be in the first team anytime soon. We see almost daily what vain and delicate little creatures footballers are. Name and shame them.

‘SSN understands that PSB has two years remaining on his contract and is unprepared to move and take a pay cut. Sources close to THFC told us, “We’d take £1 for him to get his wages off the books but the knacker simply refuses to shift.”‘

Super Roman Crazypavinchenko needs to stay but we cannot afford another season of hoping that Defoe finds his mojo and 3MP goes out of football and into Panto.

Is that we’re waiting to see if Arry gets Porridge? Is it that we need a Director of Football opposed to a hesitant cockney? Given the total absence of better ideas I was actually coming around to the idea of Scott Parker. But given the outbreak of WWIII between the two clubs even that non event looks unlikely.

Stop stalling Spurs, I really feel that this window is beginning to pass you by.