Looting Mastermind Will Be Deported Says Chief Constable

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Good Morning.

News emerged late last night that a slow burn sting operation mounted by the Metropolitan Police service in Haringey had come to a successful fruition. The capture of a looting ringleader has been made and it is anticipated that there will be more to follow as a senior officer speaking to the press said,

‘What was once a tight knit operation is now just a house of cards.’

The despicable gang first came to the attention of one of Haringeys’ largest employers, Tottingham Hotspur Football Club a few seasons ago, but officers today only revealed the full scale of the criminals complex campaign of deceit and theft that had plagued the borough this morning.

Chief Constable Gorgon Bennett continued,

‘This morning a chapter in wanton thuggery has been closed. We have identified the members of a gang who have for, in some instances years been defrauding monies on an unprecedented scale from within the heart of this noble Borough.

The days of  decent people being too distressed to leave their own homes to watch a simple football match are at an end.

The financial toll is difficult to put an exact figure on but we are probably talking several million pounds all told.

The ringleader was named as a Mr PS Bloke. It was only when Mr Bloke expanded his operation and began to wreak misery on the streets of Merseyside that Police became aware of the scale of his operation.

An accomplice who cannot be fully identified,  referred to only as, ‘ J****’ is I am told also being questioned in relation to similar matters.

Authorities revealed that such was the fear nationally by other football clubs of this man causing such suffering again, that senior authorities have sanctioned the deportation of a man who once pointed and shouted  innocent people without a second thought.

‘Having spoken to colleagues in the United States Of America, we believe that in a timely fashion we can organize the extradition of Mr Bloke to the Colonies.

Regretfully, the yank Genedarmes have their own looters to deal with and we understand that once they have secured a new facility for Juan Pablo Angel that the deportation will be but a formality.’

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