Date: 27th September 2011 at 9:35am
Written by:

Good morning.

You can spot a slow news day by the high profile given to wax works models. That’s always been my deepest held belief. 

And by spooky coincidence these images have appeared online.

What is the gig with Madame Tussaurds? I know I’m talking myself out of a freebie here but this has to be one of the crappiest ‘attractions’ ever conceived.

I’m sure when primitive man first caught site of himself in a puddle he was stunned to discover he had a subaqua twin. Then his scarf caught in the water and from that moment on the mind bending miracle was revealed as a common place thing. 

I remember going to Tussaurds as theboyhotspur in the 70’s. It was dusty, airless and dull. My parents initially said I couldn’t see the dungeony bit as it would give me nightmares. But my increasing disinterest in the dummies that all looked like David Bowie wasn’t sated by my folks reminding me this had cost a naffin fortune …and so it was then that dad made an executive decision.

We weren’t leaving, I was going going to see the grim stuff!

All I can recall is some dank green cell (probably the staff canteen) with a bloke’s arm reaching out begging. There was a tape playing of moans and chains clinking. 

Someone had placed an empty back of crisps in the ghoulish, blood soaked paw. I started giggling and we were back in daylight before you could say, ‘Can we go to Hamleys again?

Elsewhere there is a little of true value kicking about. Ian Wright has made a late bid to become to join the human race by acknowledging that could do some real damage in the Premiership at Tottingham. 

Mind you he then says he wants to ask , ‘What do you want to be remembered for, a terrific scorer of goals or a player who angered with a goal celebration for ?’

I think he’ll be remembered as man who like A&E, always tried to play with some  integrity, with a sense of professionalism and quite possibly a man that won’t regard one goal as career defining. 

More as I get.