No Like Second Hand Fridge

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Good morning. And hear me out.

The Daily SiegHeil is running with the tale that Fernando Torres ‘the artiste formerly known as Liverpool’s number nine’ could be an affordably priced casualty of the AVB revolution at Second Hand Fridge.

I say we ship him in. The old phrase, ‘form is temporary but class is permanent‘ is actually cobblers. What people crave is consistency. Let’s face it, how many players have we had in recent years who wrote us endless IOU’s but failed to deliver?

My theory in relation to Torres’ career going toilet-wards is simple. The players didn’t want him. If ever there was a club with a clique it is Chelsea. Drogba had the most to lose watching a few of their games together, Drog’s contempt was thinly veiled. Defoe’s passing in the 18 yard box is more generous.

So if he was transplanted into a side that actually wanted him, he’d do the business. Repeated hamstrings  and strains have probably taken some edge off him from when at his very very best, but he’s looked as fit as a butcher’s dog  from what I’ve seen of him.

And what would make any deal all the sweeter of course, is doing this after upgrading Modric’s contract. 


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  • Sid Trotter says:

    I would like 2 Torres’s, 1 Tevez and a cheeseburger to go. How flaming much! You taking hte p*ss or what! Bloody hell, I’ll go to Aldi next time

  • Paul F says:

    This is fantasy land. Damaged good on big wages might have been a Harry ploy in his lesser jobs (though never THAT damaged and THAT high wages), but it aint a Levy ploy. He prefers promising youth on smaller wages, even allowing for the higher transfer fees that entails.

    Chelsea wont sell Torres for 20m anyway. The DM has made that up, guaranteed. If he were allowed to leave for that the Spanish clubs would snap him up (Atletico Madrid for instance)

    As for Tevez, I hope the club never, ever lowers itself to dealing with a cheating liar like Joorchabian. There will only ever be two winner in a Tevez transfer (in this order): 1. Joorchabian. 2 Tevez. The club is the loser, and will end up paying 10s of millions for 18 months decent form. No ta. Tevez is the new Anelka. All that promise as a youngster, but constantly traded to lower and lower, ever more desperate clubs by his money grabbing agent. Like Anelka he’ll probably end up somewhere like Bolton one day, and then end up in China.

  • LosLorenzo says:

    Was discussing him the other day. Even at a fraction of what he cost Cheatski (transfer as well as wages) I feel he would still be a big risk.

    Your rationale about being wanted makes a bit of sense, but I think it’s in no small part down to confidence as well. He’s definietly not suddenly become sh*t, but that doesn’t mean he’ll neccessarily recover.

    Look at Schevchenko. The similarities are quite poignant. Great at two clubs, first in his home country (so good, in fact, that we were fooled into thinking his striking partner was good as well), then abroad. Switched to Chealski; forgot how to play.

  • essexian76 says:

    Does he really fit into the managers plans? by that I meant John Terry’s!

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