Date: 7th June 2012 at 10:14am
Written by:

Good morning.

That old devil called again and the first out of the traps are The Mirror with a cobbled together piece that wants deconstructing and putting back together in a more logical order. Let’s kick off with the valuation of the pocket sized Croatian.

£22m they say. Now before the first of you screams the place down with er… screams of, ‘£40m and not a penny less!’ take a moment and consider two things. Firstly the valuation of fans is rarely in tune with that of football clubs. And by that I refer equally to under-valuations as well as the over estimates.

Secondly, Levy & Co. kept an uncompromisingly straight bat when it came to . The boy has a contract with us with what, four years or whatever on it to run. There’s no buy out clause and there’s no gentlemen’s agreement. 

Next to be factored in are the purchases made by the the supposed vultures themselves. Manchester United have just bought Shinji Kagawa. This is undoubtedly a player Slur Alex has bought to operate in a space that Modders could occupy.

“He’s simply a great footballer his movement is insane. I wouldn’t like to play against him.” Mats Hummels

“Kagawa can keep the ball in the smallest of spaces and is a quick decision-maker” Ryo Miyaichi

The most real threat is potentially from Chelsea. The Blue Racists are shopping with some gusto buying gifts galore for their new manager; but arguably have yet to buy a player that so obviously duplicates Modric.

And so to Leighton Baines. We should buy him. The fact that Slur Alex is whinging about the price is neither here nor there. United talk a big transfers but the reality is they are under enormous financial constraints. £15m is probably ‘toppy’ but we have a card up our sleeve here.

The Pienaar deal stank and indeed still stinks to high heaven. We bought him and yet it was painfully evident not only we didn’t know what to do with him, but his heart belonged to Goodison.

The wiseacres will chip in here, ‘but we bought him to make a quick buck on!’ But this is clearly rubbish. From who? Only and nobody else in the whole wide world want him …and they’re skint members.

I don’t know the truth of why this all happened but what I do know is we have an excellent bargaining chip in relation to Baines.

Why Baines? Well, he’s very good at playing football would be the first box I’d check and second of all is the choice he would give us. Benny divides opinion and this is born quite rightly out of frustration. He’s the coolest left back in the west, but he’s not routinely the greatest. 

Next season will be a tough campaign. If Arry manages to survive last season then it’s likely he’ll only be offered a contract of token length.  Hence the out and out punt taken by a couple of papers yesterday in relation to this.

qualification will therefore be non negotiable despite what blabberchops has to say on the matter. There too will be the and dare I even suggest it, domestic pots and pans to chase.

In conclusion, it will be fascinating to see what Levy & Co do upon their return to business next week. I have a suspicion they won’t be mucking about.

You gotta love a raunchy president.