Date:3rd September 2012 at 10:11pm
Written by:

This season has got off to an inauspicious start alright, it’s left me depressed by the fact that nearly a third of my readership think booing is somehow okay. Wow. So a sizeable chunk of you are even more self absorbed and fundamentally stupid than I am.

The aftermath of the transfer window has echoed the unprecedentedly stupid but low animal cunning that filled it when open. How many of the 35,000+ who devoured every word of the obviously hoax Twitter account Agent_ITK are now lapping up the conspiracy theory that the Moutinho deal was …what might one call the allegation? A publicity stunt? Jesus wept. Yeah and Prince Phillip working in conjunction with Mossad and David Lee Roth killed Princess Diana.

Rafa being flogged off hasn’t gone down well with the brain surgeons either. Yes his class and desire will be missed. Of course they will. But in an era dominated by extraordinarily aggressive player power it’s laughable to suggest Levy & Co. simply ‘cashed him in.’ Van Der Vaart papered over the cracks after Modric jumped ship but he was not the solution. The harpies wanting to believe otherwise don’t understand football let alone what Villas-Boas is up to here.

Next up is the one time great hope now born again precious oaf Huddlestone. I was a fan. I saw him as physically adept modern day Hoddle. He could have been mustard. But he gave up trying some time back. So I joined in and gave up too.

There are a number of things that grate with me about him. He’s been on the THFC payroll since 2005 and aside from a few ‘flash in the pan’ moments – from which he’s dined out on in a manner that puts the Nazarene’s loaves and fishes stunt to shame …we’ve had nothing but threats. The Metro are running with the most laughable cobblers that he might leave on loan to pursue the beautiful game in Russia or Turkey.

Please. This guy identical to both Jenas and Bentley. All of them clinging by their avaricious fingertips to contracts that reflect threats of usefulness that were never ever fulfilled. What’s even more galling is that the guy wants to raise £75k for Cancer Research.  He could drop them £75k without even feeling it. But no, we get a ‘sponsored haircut’. I guess his sponsored eyelash tint idea just didn’t make the cut.

Next up is the blocked public toilet in human form that is Emil Danchev. This schmuck is apparently peddling the tale that Spurs were in for his client Dimitar someone or another. More rubbish. The true to type behaviour of these two out and out rotters in relation to the poor bar stewards at Fiorentina tells you all you need to know.

Harry Hotspur is also available for children’s parties.