Transfer Analysis [NSFW]

Good morning.

The W is NSFW is for whiners.

I thought it was a shrewd move to stay offline last night before I had a moment and fell somewhere between Michael Douglas’ character in Falling Down and Gerald Ratner. Liberal amounts of Heineken, the arrival of £150’s worth (or so it may well have been) of pizza and the tinnitus of Sky Sports news aided me ‘turning in’ relatively early.

Your common or garden ITK knows somewhere between little or nothing. So why get so worked up? When your 5 year old child comes up to you and tells you knowingly they can do something fabulous, like ride a horse without holding on as they are eating their breakfast cereal you don’t bawl at them that they’re delusional. You simply watch them bob up and down in their chair making ‘clip clop’ noises with their arms outstretched and make sure that they catch you smiling.

This window I decided to become increasingly less involved in ‘calling’ signings. This was for the simple and glaringly obvious reason that their was such ridiculously high volumes of supposed ‘ITK’ flying about that most of it had to be either innocent or mischievous …disinformation.I lost track of the supposed agents etc on Twitter. You toss a coin in the air 100,000 times the odds  always remain the same. Always. Whooping with pride of howling with pain at the result is the pursuit of a complete imbecile. Demanding to know if a supposed ‘ITK’ on Twitter will delete their account if their predictions don’t pan out makes you as big a time waster as they are.

Clint Dempsey? I’m not even convinced he knew he was coming to Spurs until a car turned up for him at his front door.

So we’ve looked at how adults cope with the way they assess what’s put before them. Now …coping with the unknown.

I mentioned pizza at the beginning. Now, can anyone tell me if I managed to force every last damn fat soaked triangle down my gullet, or did I leave a few bits and what about garlic bread? Welcome to the world of guessing. You only know I had pizza because I told you and I’m the guy that ordered it. You haven’t got a clue how much I ate (yeah, okay I polished off every last crumb, who are you, the Cheese Police?) You actually know nothing.

The amount of angst and bile being hurled about everywhere last night was embarrassing. Levy’s left it too late, again! Levy’s too tight! Please. Not one of you tedious whiners could even tell me what colour shirt he had on yesterday.

The most expensive thing that most of us buy is a house. And what sort of money on average are we talking here? A couple of hundred thousand? Loose change compared contracting a footballer.In fact a fortnight’s wages in some instances. We really haven’t got a clue.

Yet to listen to many, they were a fly on the wall as the chairman spent the evening sat in his neatly pressed Thomas The Tank Engine pyjamas playing Angry Birds …blissfully ignoring phones bleeping and trilling around him.

So no Moutinho. Like you, I know nothing. Unlike some of you I acknowledge the fact! What is certain, is that there was a third party ownership element in the equation. Was this an insurmountable stumbling block? Well, we don’t actually know. But if you were buying a house from someone who told you that there was someone else that owned 15% of the property what would be your gut instinct about a possible deal? 

Dempsey in. His goal scoring record is comparatively modest with I think maybe a dozen in 2010/11 and a few more on top in 2011/12, but you have to argue that this was with ten Fulham players behind him providing the opportunities.

Dembélé in. It’s easier to list those he hasn’t been winning plaudits from. Yes, Modric was an exceptional player, but this guy may offer us something equally exciting.

Loris in. This ought to be just what the doctor ordered. A young agile and forward thinking goalie to aid implement the Villas-Boas systems.

So to the soothsayers and harbingers of doom I say ‘be told – you’re boring.’ I support this club and it’s Board based upon things that have actually happened. I criticise the same based upon things that have actually happened.

Come on in, the sanity’s lovely.

Hotspurs Half Hour – Show 3 by hotspurshalfhour