I’m Stunned He Didn’t Opt For Adoption Given The Importance Of The Game

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Good evening.

What becomes of the broken hearted? It would seem they end up supporting Tottenham Hoyspur.

The game took two turns for the worse before the kick off as the news broke that both the boy himself Gareth Bale and Mr Demblele were going to both out of action. On the Bale end of things I have to express a dismay. I know people who’ve had to miss funerals due to work commitments.

In my limited yet hugely valid experience of childbirth the father being there tends to use the, ‘I was there, wasn’t I?’ as some sort of a statement to reaffirm that he still cares and still adore a woman who they have long since begun to loathe and frankly see as un-adorable. Bale’s absence to me was just yet another example of modern football being far too interested in what footballers feel or care.

Am I blaming the defeat on Bale? Of course not. Am I using him as a whipping boy? Of course not. Just sayng it’s symptomatic of things. Things that aren’t good.

Huddlestone’s gifted but lethargic calling card is expired. Dempsey looks woefully shy of the mark. Walker wants melting down and turning into glue. The boss needs to have more faith in his plan and less in the players. Make substitutions sooner.

 I’m off for a cold chicken sandwich and some crinkle cut chips. It’s the way I roll…

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  • LLL says:

    It isn’t just about making subs sooner, it’s about making the right choices.

    There was much scribbling in the note book.
    His first change: Livermore for Thudd.

    Is he just drawing comedy penises in that thing?

    • LLL says:

      Oh, and wow. First. And for the first time, for me. Do I win a pen and notebook?

      • Bruxie says:

        You are way wide of the mark.

        Bale and Dembele.

        Huddlestone, Siggi, Livermore?

        Don’t be so bloody silly.

        We had a crap team out to face championship contenders.

        What exactly do you expect?

        • LLL says:

          Huddlestone, Siggi, Livermore?

          Livermore didn’t start. Thank fuck. He did come on though? Do you know why?

          We had a crap team out to face championship contenders.
          What exactly do you expect?

          So without Bale and Dembele we are – in your words – crap? I have to say, I expected a little more than that to be honest. Was I wrong?

      • Bruxie says:


        In a word.




        • LLL says:

          Ok, so we have a crap team. None of this is AVB’s fault and he is powerless to act upon this unexpected sudden total crapness of our entire team, (bar Dembele and Bale).

          Still. Who keeps selecting Walker when we do have another option?

          Who bought Siggurdson?

        • Boon says:

          Naughton just got back from injury. And do you think it’s a good idea to put him in versus Chelsea when he ain’t got enough first team match experience yet? Facing up directly with the likes of Hazard?

          I thought Siggy did a decent job today. AVB wanted Willian – but he never came.

    • mystic arnold says:

      I ll let you into a secret someone I know who manages a team in the east anglian windows combination told me that his friend who manages in the championship says most managers use those note books to write out shopping lists during the game

    • Bruxie says:


      You are clutching at straws.

      • LLL says:

        If he leaves them lying around like that, I’m prone to pick them up. Just the way I am. If AVB had behaved anything like the tactical genius he is supposed to be and we’d still lost, there would be no straws to clutch.

        What’s better? Me bemoaning the selection and tactical inertia during the game? Or you just saying we are a pile of shit once we get an injury or two and we should suck it up?

        • Bruxie says:

          You know that that is not what I am saying!

          Walker was abysmal.

          Siggi. Well do me a favour.

          Dempsey. Not up to it.

          Defoe. Not a “one up front” player.

          There’s four. Now tell me where the quality exists in the attacking third.

          Go on….

        • A fake fan says:

          These are the same points I was making! (Aside from I saw some improvement in Sig today)

          And yes, exactly – so don’t play Defoe on his own. It’s obvious. Isn’t it?

  • Hartley says:

    Hope Bale remembers this when RM come calling, bet he doesn’t though………

  • dave says:

    Whats happened to the tactical Genius? thought he was going to make Harry look silly? Dont think we lost a game at WHL v chelsea under Harry

    • Mattaay says:

      Don’t think we won at OT under Harry… :p

    • Hartley says:

      No but we did at Wembley by a lot more than that…..or don’t you remember?

    • daytripper11 says:

      AVB may have the tactics but he doesn’t have a clue about the talent of his players.

      Sigs was the standout player on the pitch – he stands out because he is clearly a championship level player. He is terrible. Ade up front, with Defoe behind him makes us a considerably better club.

      Not far behind him is Walker. His inability to defend whatsoever contributed to three goals.

      Starting Caulker in the middle of the defence was the clincher in the loss. Caulker is a great, promising kid, but he is lost when playing against fluid, mobile teams. He was ball watching on three of the goals – Vert would have made plays to prevent all three of them.

      • UnkleKev says:

        …and there was me thinking Torres was anonymous today largely thanks to Caulker.

      • swedgeman says:

        AVB showed little tactical awareness today..caulks i thought was outstanding at keeping Torres quiet..gallas and Walker were for me very suspect. Siggy and Demps should not have been on the pitch..Ade should have been on along with Andros Townsend..was he on the bench?? lennon caused lots of probs going at Cole and with Ade in the box………..

    • Boon says:

      AVB isn’t culpable for 3 of Chelsea’s goals, 2 of which were from poor clearances from Gallas, and a silly mistake from Walker. Spurs did change thing around after half-time didn’t they? Spurs had plenty of chances to score more. Considering there wasn’t Bale and Dembele, Spurs did well I thought – aside from the mistakes.

  • Rich says:

    Terrible headline…..poor HH, poor.

  • H the Yid says:

    Not being funny, but Bale plays football every week. He’ll probably have 3 kids maximum.
    If you be-grudge him being present at his fist child’s birth, it’s a bit of a sad reflection on you Harry.
    Not a fucking hope that I would have stayed at work and missed my daughter’s arrival.
    Good luck to GB and mazel-tov on the imminent arrival!!

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