Team News & Crisis Update

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Good Morning binge drinkers.

T minus a few hours and the club we all hold dear is being torn apart by lies, discontent and double-dealing as the The Daily Mail reveals that Emmanuel Adebayor has ‘grown frustrated at White Hart Lane, having made just three substitute appearances this season.’

The article then continues to explain that since the season kicked off that Ade has been hampered by lack of match fitness then a hamstring problem.Therefore completely and utterly negating any scrap of truth there may have been in the piece.

Perhaps I should hold heart to heart talks with NASA regarding me not being selected as an astronaut. The Daily Mail could then run a piece covering the crisis talks, concluding with the acknowledgement that I am a overweight bloke in his forties who hasn’t even passed his cycling proficiency test let alone trained to be a ‘spacemen’ unless you count having been an avid Planet Of The Apes fan as a kid.

We covered the chalkboard and your fab predictions yesterday.  Player news is pretty much as you would expect. We don’t have Scotty Parker, the are without the deathbed love child of Myra Hindley and Oswald Mosley.

Tottenham (from): Lloris, Friedel, Gomes, Cudicini, Smith, Gallas, Dawson, Walker, Naughton, Vertonghen, Caulker, Falque, Huddlestone, Mason, Bale, Lennon, Livermore, Sandro, Dembele, Dempsey, Sigurdsson, Carroll, Townsend, Defoe, Adebayor, Obika.

Chelsea (from): Cech, Azpilicueta, Ivanovic, Cahill, Luiz, Cole, Bertrand, Mikel, Romeu, Lampard, Ramires, Mata, Hazard, Oscar, Moses, Marin, Piazon, Sturridge, Torres, Turnbull.

Referee: M Dean Assistants: S Ledger, J Brooks Fourth Official: L Mason.

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  • SteveG says:

    Don’t read the Mail – unless yu are a middle aged right wing(not Lennon) tw*t.
    Now ,ove on – I suspect Ade might start today.

    • Acton_Yid says:

      Acton_Yid’s summary of today:

      1. DM jizzing in his pants when no Bale or Dembele on the team-sheet (congrats on fatherhood Gareth.

      2. Mike “Mr. 100% Impartial at all times, except if Chelsea are playing” Dean, handing out yellows to Spurs players like sweets in the 1st half.

      3. All those calling for Verts at left back look a bit stupid, don’t they given that “Grandad Gallas” runs the 100m in 10 days, 22 hours and 45 seconds.

      4. Defoe, bless him, he does score vital goals but by GOD he is a selfish c@nt. Easy through balls to Dempsey or Sigs, but no, chooses to shoot through a wall of 3 defenders (unsuccessfully) EVERY TIME.

      5. Ade is rustier that an 85 year-old paraplegic nun.

      6. Walker needs to be taken out the back and (…Time for “Other Kyle” to have a go a right-back.

      Thank you for listening, Good Night.

  • Cuddlestone says:

    The DM simpleton is also busy tapping up Zaha for Wenger’s nursery dungeon.

  • Boy Charioteer says:

    That looks suspiciously like a place I visited once, can’t be sure though. I always wanted to be curator of The Prado Gallery in Madrid, but when I was turned down (all completely in my head) The Daily Mail wasn’t interested and just laughed in my face.

  • Azza's Eyebrow says:

    I think Gylfi and Ade will be the perfect combo today. AVB has the perfect excuse given that Defoe returned later than expected due to the Polish debacle and Dempsey has been playing in a Central American country that the yanks invented and then beat comfortably, just so they could qualify for the world cup.

    I have it on good authority that Gylfi and Ade might actually pass to each other in an attacking dimension, and that is surely worth the price of a Sky subscription on its own.

  • crespur says:

    Ahhhh! well back to the Spurs syndrome. Here down under in NZ it’s a case of do I stay up till the game starts at 1:30AM or do I go to bed fingers crossed (with the Mrs) and then lie in bed “eyes wide shut” and suffering from a nervous bladder (only till the game ends) hoping that I won’t miss the start through some tech stuff up. Or do I just get my brain to tell the rest of me that my pensions not that far away, record the game and watch it at my own nervous disposition in the morning. COYS…

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