“Can We Stab You Every Week? Can We Stab You Every Week?”

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Good evening.

You know, I was trying to work it out. I mean, I’m Tottenham yet I don’t really feel that much animosity toward Arsenal. Now look, I’m 44 years of age so it’s not like I should be able to rustle up too many Aunty Wengeresque excuses. They are our supposedly immediate idiot neighbours. And that whole Sol thing.

But I think I’ve nailed it.

My ‘irrational’ contempt comes from my very first Spurs game. Bill Nicholson’s Testimonial at The Lane and bless the old man, he bought us a pair of seats in the West Stand Lower. We were living at the time in a place Bruxie knows well, Rhinedahlen, BFPO 4o if you please!

This wasn’t my first time at a football match, or indeed my first time at a large public event. But the West Ham fans were fierce. I mean proper fierce. Every moment of the bloke announcing various elements of the day’s celebration were marred by West Ham booing and screaming. Jumping up and down like the unwashed mentalists they still are today.

‘Good job they can’t get out’ I remember nervously saying to dad. He replied, ‘Oh don’t worry about them. Most of the stewards normally work full time at London Zoo, we’ll be fine!”

Warren Mitchell was the master of ceremonies that day.  On TV, Alf Garnett was a bigoted, racist West Ham fan. But that was acting. Mitchell was in real life, Tottenham of course. As he tried to speak, the Upton Park animals barked in earnest.


There was about 2 or 3 seconds of wonderful silence, then we – us – the Yids – the Tottenham¬† laughed. The whole stadium laughed. Oh how I loved that moment. My tribe had scented it’s territory. I nearly cried with a mixture of pride and relief. How things never change, eh?

So I am writing in the morning to Peter Herbert asking him what he plans to do about today. Or does the plight of whitey not count?

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  • LLL says:

    Nowadays hate the Chelsea most. Then Arsenal. Find it hard to get too excited about West Ham. A gruesome rabble, of that there is no doubt. But they are more or less irrelevant to us.

    As for Herbert, he seems to have gone remarkably quiet. His deadline for us to stop using the yid word came and went and nothing happened. The Twattenberk case fell apart at the seams as widely predicted and he has had nothing to say about it. Perhaps he woke up one morning a week or so ago and had a major realization: ‘Wait a minute… I’m a complete twat.’

    • Cornerpin says:

      Spot on Mr!

    • Frontwheel 2 says:


    • Paul says:

      Mr Herbert has blood on his hands. Life was plodding along all merry, our use of the word yid offending no one, apart from an over-rated tv so-called celebrity, Chelsea fan. This muppet pipes up and the next minute one of our faithful is subjected to a brutal attack from Italians shouting anti-semitic comments, and now the low life Spammers.

      Any lawyer of any worth would realise our chants are not made to cause any offense and as such are within the law.

  • Paul says:

    Is anyone really surprised? Hammers fans are the scum of the earth. Thick as shite and as much good character as Saddam Hussein. Total scum

  • jolsgonemental says:

    West Ham are the lowest form of scum. Had the good fortune to be sat right next to the racist little inbred boys this afternoon – the levels of hatred and chanting was absurd. Pure gut level hate, they were getting themselves all in a lather.

    But. We destroyed them on the pitch and fans destroyed them in the terraces, outsung them and outwitted them at every turn. It was a joy to behold. And the West Ham wooooo chant was hilarious and had us in stitches.

    No noise from the pikey boys now.

    Victory is sweet.

    • Boy Charioteer says:

      Was it “a small minority” or more widespread and serious?

      • jolsgonemental says:

        After the third went in, half their support left.

        The vast majority remaining stayed behind for an afternoon of casual racism, threats and nazi salutes.

        I was lower, so cant comment on the upper lot.

  • southcoastyid says:

    the spammers have shown themselves once again, a deplorable bunch who don’t deserve the right to attend other football grounds, on a brighter note, the midget gem got a couple and from what i can ascertain the boy lloris had another good game. given that redschnapps is now back at work and the chavski rotters have employed the fat spanish waiter, can we assume the lazy hacks will give avb the time and space he will need to improve us like i for one know he can/will.

    • SpurredoninDubblin says:

      I was not one of the Harry Haters, but I did hate his “Rent-a-Quote” antics. How refreshing AVB has been in that department.

      I suspect that QPR will face the drop this season, and I fear that when HR gets booed because of this, he will say “Idiots! What did they expect? When I got there, they had four points from thirteen games”.

      • Edi says:

        Redknapp plays it safe. When he took over at Spurs, he was well aware that only one club in history had a start as bad as us and survived the drop. It was a no lose situation, couldn’t really be blamed for us going down, but hailed for keeping us up. Same with QPR.

        You’ll notice that his antics in the transfer market backed my “no risk” theory up. Whether it was he or the chairman that made these calls is up for debate, but it always seemed like he’d buy a Steven Pienaar for ¬£3m because at worst he’s an okay “squad player” but at best he’d be awesome and Redknapp looks like a genius. No lose again.

        I believe that became his downfall. In his eyes, he took us over when we were 20th, so unless he got us relegated at any point, he’d done a good job. To an extent he’s right, but he failed to realise that success breeds expectation, ergo we were disappointed that we dropped a 13 point lead and gave up 3rd place to Arsenal, even though at the start of the season everyone would have been happy with fourth.

  • mystic arnold says:

    Got to the ground early from Hounslow today anyone know who the black guy in goal was during the warm up was; he did nt seam to be saving many shots.

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