Date:28th October 2010 at 5:48pm
Written by:

Spooky: I have a conspiracy theory idea that Fergie is covering for the absence of transfer funds in order he doesn’t jeopardize his pension. Am I completely mad?
Yes, barking.

Spooky: Still on transfers, January is pretty naff, you perhaps need a new goalie, but any thoughts on realistic targets?
Scott:I think we’ll go for a few Spurs players to be honest, assuming you don’t make it out of the groups and aren’t currently occupying a top 4 place. Maybe we’ll have to wait for the summer but I’m sure that in we’ll go for at least one of your players before next season. Sorry. Whether we sign them or not is a different matter. Thanks to Rooney, we can actually expect us to go for some top class players though. I fancy landing Torres….. not as unbelievable as you might think!

Spooky:Rooney. I really don’t buy any of this damage limitation drivel about he was never planning to really leave. Do you think he’s telling the truth and do you believe the majority of fans think he is?  Has he burned his bridges?
Scott: He was 100% leaving us for City. There’s not a doubt about that. He bottled the move following the reaction from the manager, press and fans. If people don’t think he had every intention of going, then they are kidding themselves. Still, do the fans that believe him think that playing hard ball with the club to boost his pay packet is acceptable? Either way he’s behaved like a total cnut. I’m done. I’ll celebrate his goals because they’ll be United goals but I loved that little potato head and he conned us in to thinking he loved us too. What a total let down.

Spooky: For some fans, it’s only just dawning on them how magnificent the last crop of players, today’s seniors actually were. Who is there to continue the legacy, when age steals them?
Scott: Tom Cleverley probably has the biggest weight on his shoulders and he seems to be responding to that admirably for the England U21s, Wigan, and even at United in the pre-season. Corry Evans, Ravel Morrison and Will Keane have had people talking too. Ryan Giggs and Paul Scholes are two of the best players this country will ever see, so to expect our youth team to churn players of that ability out on a regular basis is unrealistic.

Spooky: The so called shift of power in Manchester hasn’t happened for me at least anyway. What are your thoughts on your wealthy neighbours?
Scott: My feelings haven’t changed to be honest. If I didn’t dislike them so much, I’d probably pity them. The fact that they’ve got so much money now makes their situation even more desperate. They’ve currently picked up fewer points than Mark Hughes had done with this many games played last season, they’ve already been knocked out of the competition which presented them with the best chance of stopping the ticker turner to 35 years, their best player is 26 and desperate to retire. Like United fans said at the beginning, if any club can fuck this up, City will do.

How anyone can talk about a power shift when United haven’t finished outside of the top 3 for 18 years, whilst City haven’t finished inside it, is fairly ridiculous. City have to win the league before anyone can even begin to seriously think there’s a shift in power and that ain’t happening any time soon.

Spooky: Do you think Sir Alex is not once but twice bitten and therefore very shy about raiding Spurs again – after spending so much on Carrick and Berbatov neither of whom quite frankly, have set the world on fire?
Scott: If you’re buying English players or players from English clubs, the transfer fee is going to go up. Michael was dreadful last season but he played an important role for his first three seasons, winning the league every year, the European Cup, a couple of League Cups. He was the only player we signed that summer, when Chelsea added Ashley Cole, Michael Ballack and Shevchenko to their title winning team, yet it was us who were crowned champions.

It would be silly to underestimate what a difference he made to our team, despite a poor campaign last season. As for Berbatov, I’m a massive fan of his. We need more goals from him (although he scored as many goals as Ballon d’Or nominee Samuel Eto’o last season) but again, I think he contributes effectively enough, and this season, has been our 2nd best player. Ferguson would gladly take Bale or Modric off your hands.

Spooky:What was the mood of United fans when it began to look like Van der Vaart was the real deal? What other players do you guys feel you should have signed?
Scott: Ozil, Sneijder, Khedira to name a few. VdV was desperate to come to United and why we didn’t go there is beyond me.

Spooky: Sir Alex spoke about his replacement recently. Who would you be happy with?
Scott: Pep Guardiola, Laurent Blanc and begrudgingly, Jose Mourinho.

Spooky: The game then. I would love to win but feel a point may be far more likely. You?
Scott: I think we’ll win. Chicharito has scored, on average, one goal per 90 minutes so far this season and Berb does well against Spurs, so yeh, I fancy us.

Spooky: Would you like to buy Jermaine Jenas?
Scott: No ta.

Republik Of Mancunia

Dear Mr Levy