Aston Villa

Spurs & Villa To Swap Strikers In January

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Image for Spurs & Villa To Swap Strikers In January

Be still my beating heart. Oh I see, it has.

The sheer overdose of inertia pulsating through my veins has caused me to flatline. As longstanding readers will know of course, a goldfish with cerebal palsy could write this blog, so you’ll be unsurprized I can continue to type.

PSB in exchange for Aston Villa’s very own John ‘Star Man’ Carew*.

As theorectical deals for the next window go this would have to a considered a ‘goer’. Pointless Shouty Bloke has been linked with Aston Villa since he was a foetus. Add to this he hasn’t run away to join anyone’s circus for months now and you’re looking at a winning combo of transfer rumour.

St Gerard of Houllier has blazed a trail of draws and losses only interupted by the odd victory since he returned to the Premership. He inherited a squad that supposedly cost the same as ours yet achieved even less. It was only a matter of time before the splat of bathwater rapidly followed by the thud, wah, whaaahh of a baby landing on the Villa Park cobbles was heard.

John Carew. A thin brochure. Described a ‘bigger than me or you’ and and having a turning arc similar to that of a very, very large ship such as the Queen Elizabeth 2.

When it came to being linked with strikers – not so long ago it was the Horse Whisperer and the Wardrobe On Wheels. Then no one at all. Now it’s Carew. I smell decline. The new stadium is an elaborate hoax and Levy has secretly a hatched a plan to merge with the Pikeys and all play happily ever after under the name Athletico Stratford.

Women, children and Hotspur first. Let me through, I’m a first aider.

BIOYC!

*© JGM

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60 comments

  • cookiebun says:

    Please don’t waste my time, reading this garbage when I’m looking for REAL news about my football club.
    Suggestion;
    Shut this stupid, childish site down immediately.

    • Harry Hotspur says:

      I am so genuinely embarrassed that someone of your gravitas was duped into looking for REAL news about your club on this beyond awful excuse for a site.

      I think shutting this site down frankly would still be well shy of the compensation you are clearly owed.

      By the way, how did you manage to type with your head inserted up your anus? Were you using one of those swanky devices they advertise on the telly when the bloke is parachuting and dictating an email?

      If so, I’m sold.

      • bdog4037 says:

        i liked that hh :daumen:

      • gay says:

        You may like take into consideration that under new management a team has to modify and reconfigure themselves into playing the way a new manager demands them to play. if harry got up and left i’m sure you would be in the same situation as ourseves, you would be without your signingings for the summer, club stability and assurance that your club will be okay entering the chapions league and contending in the premiership, you are a prat and narrow minded.
        Also us as fans are begining to feel the itch and are worrying what is going to happen under his management but to write this about the villa is a fucking discrase, your a discrase and the entire “franchise” that tottenham hotspur is a discrase

        up the villa!

      • jfdit says:

        I’ve got that thing on my phone, it’s rubbish when talking normally let alone when your heads up one’s ar*se

        why on earth would anybody come on here looking for news – very strange

        Top Tip – try the CBBC website there’s a section called newsround :whistle:

      • cHUCK sPAMMER says:

        Harry, keep your dad away from this site please.

      • nads69 says:

        Are you sure your not typing with a pencil attached to your forehead? I can see you sat there headbanging away while listening to boogie beebies on cbbc.

        It’s called a bit of fun while there is sod all really to talk about!

    • lecoqhardi says:

      You could better spend your time in a punctuation class. The comma in your first sentence is redundant and in fact changes the intended meaning, while the semicolon should of course be a full colon. Oh, and no capital letter after it. Nice use of full stops though. Now that’s how to waste your time.

      • onedavemackay says:

        Thank the lord for pendants like your good self.

        Or should that be “such as your good self”?

  • Pete A says:

    ‘cookiebun Says:
    November 9th, 2010 at 7:55 am
    Please don’t waste my time’

    You have now decided to go one better and waste yor own time by leaving this comment. Muppet!

  • forhodssake says:

    for hod’ssake!!! (shameless self publicising) – dont get all stressed cookie, its just a bit of fun honeybun.

  • AFelching says:

    I seen this on COYS last night, I suppose he could be seen as an upgrade on Crouch :finn:

  • DAVID says:

    So we swap our waste of space for theirs ?

Comments are closed.