Hiccup Not AFACup – Analysis & Ratings

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Good morning.

Questions in the house then about last night’s game. To use trade terminology that may throw laymen reading, it was a bit of a muddle.

First up, but in no particular order Modric. Arry stands before the world and says that the medic at Tottingham only told him after he’d submitted the team sheet that the Croat hadn’t been feeling too chipper for two or three days.

Hello? I know you’re in the mood for making stupid confessions Aitch, but what the hell is going on at this multi-million pound football club? Where’s the lines of communication? Where are our so called coaching staff? Is anyone talking to each other on a regular basis? 

The team selection looked like one knocked together by an absentee landlord who had been briefed by Levy & Co to stick in a few more ‘A listers‘ to keep the sponsors happy. Judging by the game, the only direction the players were given was  to the Away dressing room.

What last night also proved is that the heavily tipped stars of the future really aren’t burning as bright as they were said to be. It was Watford.

Oh look, here’s the ratings…

 7.090 Occassionaly looked like a man trying to grab money in one of those game show blowing machines. But this was primarily down to the fact his defense was the sort that could land you 3 years. His distribution is better than Brads.

 5.002 No wonder he’s in the fakin’ reserves. I can see a big future for him. In panto. Being a yoofstar these days appears to be all about speed. I’m an old fashioned gal and I like my footballers to also have a brain. 

 8.756 Man of the match again. His transformation has been a joy to witness. He clearly has willingness to listen and learn. If he can carry on like this he’ll be one of our most important signings in a generation.

 6.222 He’s a guy that lapses too readily into ‘repel all borders!!!’ mode. Walloping the ball out like it’s the end of the world is pointless if it ends up back at the feet of the other lot. Urgently needs to find his form again. 

 4.767 What we got there was him minus the Forest Gump runs that so many of you seemed to coo over. And what was left was a guy who needs to work on his job. Which is being a defender. Is that incredibly mean? No.

 7.333 A flickering bright light on dimly lit pitch. For most of it all he was knee deep in trying to unravel the mess of wayward passes and unsightly pinball that appeared to dominate the bulk of our central play.

 6.454 Jake played well when he got on with the job. He kept his head and didn’t flap like many did. But the foul was daft and as I said last night, the ball under the arm and strutting up to the linesman routine needs to be canned. There’s a good footballer in there. Focus on finding him or they’ll be calling you Jason Dozzell 2.0

 6.772 If anyone can explain the wisdom in running this poor guy into the ground than do get in touch.

 5.001 He’s not been well. He played like it.

 6.043 Brought when the footballing gurus managing our team eventually realised we had no width. Triffic. Did he then do that wing swapping thing again? Brilliant, I bet that threw Watford into a right state. Oh, wait…

 1.800 “I’m the invisible man I’m the invisible man
Incredible how you can see right through me”.

 2.843 Nights like these he must be wondering just what in the name of Jesus he’s gone and got himself involved in this time. 

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  • I agree with everything, a stagnant performance. Is it too much for the spur’s management and coaching staff to actually realise that that line-up lacked width. Harry keeps picking his favourites even when clearly tired or injured. Even at the expense of balance in the side. Same old mistakes. No wingers no balance. Modric on left no impact sick or not. Vdv on deadballs no result. Our corner strategies are embarrassing now. Why are we persisting with all of this when the man and dogs in the street recognised they didnt work a long long time ago?

  • bukkake-breath says:

    PNB is warhorse

  • 89Spurs says:

    Not too far from the truth H, a bit harsh on some but kind on others, all in all fairs comments considering the game. Needs an improvement against Wigan.

  • jerkinmahjurgen says:

    You’re just upset H ‘cos you suggested a 5th choice line-up with expectations of a breeze when an obvious banana-skin. You’re surely old enough to know better? A game-of-the-season for Watford became almost too much for the best team we could put out. Game was always gonna be tricky with the slightest chance of an easy 2 or 3 nil. And pace is extremely important. How many times would Watford have been clean through if not for the pace of Walker or Kaboul? Pace has been our biggest weapon this season. [No disrespect Vdv/Daws] Another away win when under-par… Well done, Lads.

    • Harry Hotspur says:

      You comment on me, Watford, pace, argue that Walker’s pace last night was a benefit :blink: yet fail to mention tactics.

      What’s your take on the tactics?

      • jerkinmahjurgen says:

        My biggest gripe when we have no width is that Modric doesn’t take the game clearly by the scruff of it’s neck. Even starting off the left, the idea is to cut inside and he’s the one who can carry the ball into the central 3rd, and often doesn’t. Parker does a better job of it, in fact. Apparently Modders was under the weather so, but overall we didn’t pass it like we can… It’s more that than tactics and that’s largely due to the Watford players who needed none of the famous davspurs energy drink to be up-for-it. Massively over-looked is the level of motivation by the opposition, contributing to making it difficult or allowing an off-form side to regain it’s stride. And Friday-night football, ffs. Fkd me up and all I have to do is sit there watching. We’re still getting results when it’s difficult out there and that’s a step up from even the better Spurs sides we’ve known. We’ve had this issue covering the wings for years now and manage with players cutting-in. But it’s quite a change for the full-backs so Rose had it difficult to be drafted into it. Did well considering. Biggest problem with Walker is that alot of his crosses end up on the north circular, but you can’t deny at least twice he got past the attacker to win the ball in our box. At best most full-backs would have been hoping to forge enough of a presence as the attacker took his shot. We’ve had that pace advantage pretty much all over the pitch, all season. Chuck in what you want – clever tactics, play-makers, width, steel, then add pace, will give you the edge. Our set-pieces are crap, particularly corners, needs work, but then you can work on set-pieces all week, but on the pitch in those particular instances, where gaps appear, etc, it’s the players responsibility to deliver, not management.

        • jerkinmahjurgen says:

          And not wishing to accuse you of racism in your ratings but I do hope that’s not John Terrys’ Chocolate Orange behind Adebayor? And to think the stick I got for sayin’ nigaz…

  • TMWNN says:

    A masterclass in tactical incompetence.

    We’ll not go far ignoring the obvious.

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