Date: 22nd February 2012 at 10:06am
Written by:

Good morning.

Time is running out for the Primark Posse. In just some eighty odd hours time the opportunity of a lifetime will be gone. Groupon is offering West Ham home tickets at up to 53% off the marked price. West Ham Football Club, a force to reckoned with globally. Soon to be the subject of a forthcoming soccerumentary, ‘My Big Fat Headed Olympic Squatters’.

And so now in a pincer movement of stupidity we have Porn Baron of  Goldplated & Sullivan fame who is sore no, not because of that business with the dwarf and the road cone but the loss of . He confided to The Guardian.

“This might not please many people but look at ’s performance in the first five games of this season. To me it didn’t look like he was doing the tackling you’d normally expect him to do,” 

“He was running about, he was doing OK but he wasn’t doing the tackling we know he can do because he knew that the one thing that would stop a move for him would be an injury.

“To me it looked like he didn’t want to be there. He told us he didn’t want to be there. There’s no player who has given more for the club in recent years, so to make him stay against his wishes … He was protecting himself either consciously or subconsciously. He’s gone to and he is back to his old self.” 

Someone call the Guinness Book Of Records as a man who flogs ‘Backwards Bun Beads’ has been morally outraged. Sour grapes isn’t the half of it. ‘To me it looked like he didn’t want to be there. He told us he didn’t want to be there.’  Eh? If this the keen analytical mind you need to became a millionaire, I’m doomed to a life of poverty.

The truth is that Parker won while at West Ham and despite the shoddy manner in which that club was mismanaged he was all too frequently a one man team who ran himself into the ground for them.