How Many Out Of 30 Then?

Welcome to Double Maths & Soothsaying For Beginners. 

If we rake through what may or may not be going through the minds of our coaching staff for one more blog we’re more liable to be sectioned under the Mental Health Act than to find inner peace or enlightenment.

And so there are still 9 games to go.

Can that one sentence can offer restore the perspective that we’ve had systematically battered beaten out of us since Arry became England’s number one in waiting? 

Here are the fixtures and my take is based upon us playing good football, players in their correct positions. If Arry plays Friedel as a lone striker at any stage, all bets are off.

Stoke H Anti football has barely kept them in the top half of the table. Consistently mediocre all season. That said, they did us 2-1. 3 points

Chelsea A This ‘orrible lot are less reliable than us. With a bit of luck Mata will get hit by a bus driven by John Terry before we meet them.  1 point

Swansea H What a season. Premiership fresh meat has rarely been fresher and meatier. With a no frills, no nonsense typemanager  3 points

Sunderland A Rejuvenated under the reserved auspices of the man with the cheapest spectacles working in show business today. 1 point

Norwich H I’m glad this isn’t at Carrow Road, our little cherubs need to play sides who can ‘get messy’ indoors on a proper pitch 3 points

Bolton A Dire all season 3 points

QPR A By the time this game comes round Mark Hughes will have hit DefCon4. Expect a particularly ugly card fest 1 point

Blackburn H Whilst they sensationally beat Marnchesta Yanited they’ve achieved little else this term and if we screw this one up… 3 points

Aston Villa A If the our luxury coach can get past the burning effigies of McLiesh their lack of firepower should just about sink ’em 3 points

Fulham H If the Dutch Napolean’s Russian maintains his current form they will cause everyone problems including little ol’ us 1 point

So I say 22 points. What say you?