Date: 10th April 2012 at 8:31am
Written by:

Good morning Client Reference numbers.

Arry Redschnapps lied in court. He said under oath to the prosecuting QC,

 “I’m a fantastic football manager!”

The grounds for making an accusation of perjury need to be solid and so I’ll lay them out for you in an easy to follow fashion. 

But first, let’s kick off with yesterday.

Yesterday we witnessed the absolute crème de menthe of Arry’s managerial career. No you dopes, I’m not talking about the performance on the pitch against Norwich. Pah, that was just a football match. I’m talking about his post match BBC interview here.

You do realise you were not only watching history being made, but you were also witnessing The Peter Principle demonstrated live on your TV and recorded forever for future generations to come.

“I played 442 today …I thought we were too open.”

“People say to me we’re better when we’re 442, I think we played that way today and I didn’t like the look of us, I thought we were miles too open.”

On the first quote, this is just straightforward weird because I thought he picked the team and the tactics. But he’s actually commentating from the position of a third party. When he made his substitutions you could effortlessly argue he had the situation worse.

But if that was the ‘people say’ quote was surreal. I’m hesitant to ask who these people are. Are they made up to deflect blame (which we know is something he’s a master of), are they  the voices he hears in his head or perhaps pearls of wisdom from little old ladies when he goes down the shops?

We shouldn’t be shocked though, it’s just a simple case of history repeating.

Let’s look at Arry’s …managerial track record.

Bournemouth? He worked wonders mentoring them away from the foot of the old Third Division, took them on a memorable cup run and later won the League. But check out this harrowing parallel… Arry was linked with the manager’s role at West Ham. He didn’t get the job and after committing to an extended contract at Bournemouth he went on to lead them to …relegation.

West Ham? Arry left 8th in the Premiership, with a mediocre run out n the Intertoto Cup. After talking too freely with a West Ham fanzine and the Chairman fired him.

Southampton? After walking out on Portsmouth Arry was appointed as the man to save The Saints from Premiership relegation. But they were relegated and he sneaked back to Pompey…

Portsmouth? Well, it was here that Arry won his solitary piece of silverware, the Cup. The financial black hole(s) and recriminations around how that club was run into the ground are still echoing today. The club left bankrupted and relegated.

So what we have is what I and a hell of a lot of others have said all along. A passable crisis manager, not a great manager. And he’s some considerable distance away from being fantastic.

Analysis of the game & ratings to follow…