Date: 4th April 2012 at 9:16am
Written by:

Good morning.

A novelty item and so straight to our friends psychological case studies down the road in Woolwich.

Two brothers have been banned for eight years, yes eight years from the after an altercation over ‘standing up’ escalated into an incident where the pair were restrained by coppers HERE.

The charges ranged from abusive behaviour to causing fear of violence and in addition to the bans the dastardly duo picked up fines totalling a little over a grand.

Was this harsh? Well, I’m not privy to the specifics of just how they instilled a fear of violence. Making threats to kill can land you in jail, so presumably it was less nasty than that. Something between, ‘You’re bally well heading for a bunch of fives!’ and, ‘You’re gonna get striped right up the wrong un you slag!’

Now I get get being told to sit down. I like everyone sat down. I’d go to more games if there were comfy chairs or at least cushions provided. My will to live drains when the, ‘Stand up if you hate Arsenal’ gets an airing. I’ve heard the argument/excuse it’s a way of outfoxing the stewards – but to what purpose? 

That song has all the wit and imagination of Jeremy Kyle’s haircut.

Standing up when the action reaches fever pitch is of course natural, good honest and right. But otherwise it’s completely selfish. I can just about and I mean just about cope with some idiot insisting travelling to a football ground and buying a seat next to me in order to noisely slug back a tuna bagel, but I draw the line at paying to watch a football match and only getting to see bits of it thanks to some pilchard with an attention deficit disorder. 

I don’t believe that several thousand people all on their feet as Azza cuts into the penalty area and weaves past a defender is the nub of the matter.

It’s the thoughtlessness and arrogance of the few that believe that rules don’t apply to them ‘cos they’re at a football match. Like they’ve entered some magic kingdom where it’s somehow alright to do as they please.

Bless ’em.