The following is an exclusive extract from the players’ meeting held at Chigwell today by Club Captain Ledley King. Given the very nature of this highly sensitive material, elements of it maybe inaccurate and it may also be partially or completely fabricated.
Ledley: Alright lads I fink you all know why I’ve called you all here…
Luka: You have new sexy film on telephone? *Makes horse neighing noise*
PNB : *low voice from back of group* Go straight to Broadmoor, do not pass Go, do not collect £200.
Ledley: Yeah, so er anyway we need to talk about the Norwich game and fink about how we push on from it really.
Bale: Where’s Arry?
Kyle: He’s filming.
Benny: He is looking for lady love on ‘The Undatables’ show, Lol.
Ledley: So guys it’s important that we all get together…
Brad: Can we do this tomorrow, I have a yoga class.
Modric: No like Star Wars *in falsetto voice* ‘You no my father’
Eunice: I bent my wookie.
Rafa: Guys, I think we know what the problems are and if we just…
Bale: I won’t lie to you, a witch hunt isn’t the way to do this.
Rafa: Gazza, no one you know, is focusing on you here, buddy.
PNB: No we’re saving that one for after the semi.
Defoe: Speaking of which, how is the wife?
Rafa: Eh? Look, we need to speak to Harry and discuss the shape and tactics.
Benny: When he comes back from dating show, Lol.
Sandro: I think we need to play with more width.
Jake: That’s what she said…
Ledley: I fink it’s important we pull together. Remember why we’re here.
Nelsen: We should really wait til Harold gets back.
Jake: Mr Bishop, to you son.
Ledley: Please boys, we need to really rally here and make sure that we can kick on for these last few games…
Defoe: To be fair, I just need more game time, you know what I mean? I’m a machine, man.
Kyle: Yeah, a Sinclair C5.
Defoe: Nice one, Forest.
Rafa: Boys the best teams in the world play very simply. Best players in best positions and for each other.
Bale: I’m really focused on that level, playing at the very top flight I am.
Tim Sherwood: Alright chaps, who fancies practicing some corners?
Don’t know why I bother to read some piece of shit like this? To be honest this is one of two or three sites on newsnow that I deliberately avoid because all it contains is a wankers own childish garbage and a few lampoons just give him a round of applause..do you ever bother to write something fucking useful Harry..may be we should stick a London Transport sticker at the back of your wheelchair..how do you achieve getting on anyone’s nerves on a regular basis you tosser.
Blimey H the missus is stronging it a bit digging you out on here like that. Can’t she just ring the pub you’re in and tell you to stop blogging and get ‘ome for yer dinner
What I like about this site is that it’s all fresh original stuff written by someone who cares.
HH doesn’t recycle misquotes from interviews given to foreign press etc that most spurs blogs do. He also doesn’t speculate about fantasy players we should sign either.
its difficoolt to cope when grown ups like iver biggen come on here and put us all in our places from time to time trying to avoid us.I wonder if that really is his real name if it is thats probably why he feels all growd up.
our new yank goalie up top played a blinder against the hun
Don’t know why I bother to read some piece of shit like this? To be honest this is one of two or three sites on newsnow that I deliberately avoid because all it contains is a wankers own childish garbage and a few lampoons just give him a round of applause..do you ever bother to write something fucking useful Harry..may be we should stick a London Transport sticker at the back of your wheelchair..how do you achieve getting on anyone’s nerves on a regular basis you tosser.
To be honest this is one of two or three sites on newsnow that I deliberately avoid
Beyond parody.
Hi Iver; is your other tit not very big?
Blimey H the missus is stronging it a bit digging you out on here like that. Can’t she just ring the pub you’re in and tell you to stop blogging and get ‘ome for yer dinner
She’s always like this before Wembley.
What I like about this site is that it’s all fresh original stuff written by someone who cares.
HH doesn’t recycle misquotes from interviews given to foreign press etc that most spurs blogs do. He also doesn’t speculate about fantasy players we should sign either.
Although I’m convinced I saw Benzema in Waitrose this morning.
The trouble is H is that knowing our luck at the moment he was probably wearing a Gooners shirt!
its difficoolt to cope when grown ups like iver biggen come on here and put us all in our places from time to time trying to avoid us.I wonder if that really is his real name if it is thats probably why he feels all growd up.
i’m with Iver. i also enjoy visiting sites i know in advance i won’t like. and swearing at people. so ‘bloody’ to you all of you.
Iver Biggen, get a Life!
This is one of two or three sites I deliberately visit everyday! :-)
‘The other one though has gone missing for some time – Allygold – where are you?’