Date: 3rd June 2012 at 1:03pm
Written by:

Good afternoon. 

I trust you are all enjoying the most memorable weekend of your miserable lives. If you can’t sniff a fat line of cocaine of the stomach of  a nubile corgi whilst dressed as Adolf Eichmann today, when can you? 

You have to wonder if the pound shops are going to get burned here. You can barely get to the world’s best selection of bargain basement tooth rot for bunting, flags and a whole host of other crap we’ll call all manner of jingoistic accoutrement. What’s happening outside? It’s tipping it down and a workmanlike win, yes WIN by England was reported in the UK’s best selling tabloid with headline, JINXED after Cahill collided with Hart in what looked to me like Drogba inspired, ‘Ooh, I’ve been shot in the head style moment.’

But have no fear. Sunshine is at hand!

In the form of these pictures courtesy of the Daily Mail. She snogged Jake Livermore and then engaged in what one can only speculate to have been the most absorbing and the most fascinating conversation with Azza Blud and Jermaine Pennant.

Best caption wins Arry Redscnapp’s soul. This piece of tat may look like like one of those kids ‘worm in a lollypop’ things, but I must assure readers that once you get past the chemical substitute tequila flavour you will taste the succulent singular FA Cup win worm flavour of our Arry.