Smatterfaeces & Cross: Please Go To The Toilet, I Think You’re Both Full

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Good evening.

I missed the John Cross interview with Smatterfaeces earlier today.  But I have it now. My particular thanks to @JellySmiff for very kindly supplying the required URL.

Smatterfaeces kicks off with a token nod at being allowed onto the premises at The Lane. If I were Levy & Co. I’d remove this crumb’s access. Who cares if he likes going there? His job is to report and may I add at this juncture I don’t even care if it’s objective, biased or bi-curious.

What isn’t on is him swanning about the gaff being all chummy. But then once on air being all sniffy about THFC, talking about them with such contempt …well it’s difficult to believe he values his free seat. In fact it’s impossible. 

So we have a Chelsea fan of diminished broadcast talent goading along a hostile witness anyway in the form of the ever amiable John Cross. 

Cross’ Arsenal credentials aren’t the issue. And it would also be crude to simply level a charge of being just another one of Arry’s media pals at him. Cross is guilty of a far more serious crime. Guilty of having a nafifng clue about the subject matter for which …he gets paid.

Smatterfaeces is a low rent ringmaster and Cross a partially house trained chimpanzee in media circus that cannot give tickets away. Trading in sneers is no way to analyse football. Their conversation may have passed for banter between ‘a couple of white van man drivers’ in half empty pub on a rainy day, but it wasn’t.

The assertion that Andres Villas Boas is some ‘got lucky once schmuck’ is beyond disingenuous. It’s plain old carny mentally inbred thick. 

The solitary thing that amused me about these two is not that they think they can predict the future and but they clearly believe that on a more serreptitious level that they will tap into the innermost fears of Tottenham fans.

I’ve been (for me) quite avidly devouring analysis on Boas’ career to date. If you’re all very good boys and girls I may knock you bandy with my opinion on what’s out there tomorrow. I’ll leave you on this. Times have been tough online for sites to even stand still. talkSPORT might just want to consider what’s provoking debate and what’s alienating Ad revenue.

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