Transfer Meltdown Spurs Sign Inertia For Undisclosed Fee

The footballing world was spun off it’s axis and said to have ‘done itself an injury’ this afternoon as the news emerged that Tottingham Hotspur still hadn’t signed anyone since the last time the F5 button was lovingly plunged inward.

Nobody in the Premiership has ever been linked with quite so many strikers since the Barristers representing Ashley Cole and John Terry had a quick tot up.

Who’s coming in? Apparently Leandro is done. Dusted, packed and waiting for his horse drawn carriage to whisk him off to the airport. My view is that he isn’t done, there’s no one else interested in him and we’re waiting as ever for some poor bar steward to take on our current super stars off our hands.

So who’s leaving? An insane tale doing the rounds yesterday was that some Russian firm were in for Pav. If you listen to the voices of dissent on your average football forum, getting £13m for our best out and out striker is a result and only girls and nancy boys sing his name in the stadium. This blog will be experiencing some downtime shortly, as I get the domain and the sign changed to Hilda Hotpants.

Defoe and Azza are playing an interesting and indeed dangerous game. Via their agents (of course, do you really think most journalists have to ever actually make stuff up?) we get thinly veiled threats of move to the French and the Scousers respectively.

I’d love us to have a ballsy manager again, wouldn’t you?. A Billy Nick or a Cloughie. “I understand you wish to play football in Liverpool, young man? Well enclosed with your cards you will find a standard class rail ticket to Lime Street.” On these guys who threaten, but rarely really deliver we ought simply call their bluff.

Modders was not only declared to be wanting out, but rumoured as beginning to get a bit antsy. Antsy in his Croatian panties. This too I put down to his agent and of course Cheatski who would love to be a sophisticated as Sluralix at tapping people up but are too dumb to even manage that. We will have to see if their manager for this forthcoming season wants to start really making a proper bid.

Spurs fans aren’t the worst in the world but we are constantly on the lookout for a new Messiah. Life Of Brian isn’t that half of it. ‘Rossi? Oh he’s the absolutes Terrier’s Testicles, I should know. I’ve followed a few!’

So what becomes of the broken hearted? Not my words friends, but those of Mr Jimmy Ruffin. They appear to hit the F5 button a fair bit.And that simply isn’t fair. Why don’t we have a strategy?

THFC stated in their recent meeting with the Supporters Trust that this last minute transfer window fiasco/frenzy wasn’t how it looked. They were actually focused upon concluding their business sooner rather than later.

Levy & Co need to convert these admirable thoughts into deeds and get on with it. We knew this situation was looming. Preparation, preparation, preparation. We must know what we might realistically get for some of the chancers on our books and so we must sell.

Begbie for example. Word was that Steve Bruce wanted him, but not at our price. Classic example. Sell. Cut and run. Jenas? Some cad must be half interested in him. Sell. Cut and run. Keane? Ditto. If either of those two midgets mentioned previously aren’t 100% committed like Van der Vaart is, ship’em out. The only men worth fighting for are the men prepared to fight for us.

NDP appears to be somewhat of  a naffing diabolical struggle but we might just get there. We need to get back into the Champions League and pronto. In a nutshell this inertia is killing us and we need some action.

BIOYC!