And good afternoon.
I don’t know if this is going to be a plea, or ‘a right telling off my friend,’ to quote Don Logan. But this window has spawned some absolute ‘ITK’ chancers. And that’s coming from me!
I like ITK, the very notion of it is completely appealing. Against a backdrop of indifferent official websites; something overheard in a curry house, a nod and wink to some bod who drops off the laundry or the loose chat of a junior player to a mate it’s all quite irressistable.
The very nature of ITK of course means it won’t all pan out. Why not? Because it involves humans. Humans have contributed many things to this planet, but amongst the first things after carbon monoxide and funny coloured poo probably has to come human error.
That and people change their minds. I’ve a magnificent dinner lined up tonight. But I might suddenly, on whim go bonkers and decide to get a takeaway. People change their minds. Anyone heard of a little thing called, ‘divorce’?
So peace be upon me that I don’t have the ache when ITK fails to come to fruition. What does get my goat are the freeloaders and attention seekers. By freeloaders I specifically mean the despicable parasites that quite stealthily hitch their made up pony to the ITK star.
‘Robbie Keane is weighing is up his options,’ ‘Bentley is of interest to two or three clubs but nothing concrete in place as yet.’ ‘The relationship between Harry & Levy is tense. Harry wants to buy but Levy is saying we have to sell first.’ ‘The player wants to come, is happy with the wages offered but his club are making crazy demands.’
This sort of guff might just might possibly be ITK, but it’s so bloody ambiguous it’s not worth repeating in any form to anyone.
If my phone rang now and it was Daniel Levy himself saying, ‘Harry, you might tell your readers that we are striving day and night to solve our striker problem.’ My response would be short, ‘You tell ’em.’ That isn’t information worth sharing.
Then we have the attention seeking children. There is no excuse that stands up to scrutiny by an adult that condones a supposed ITK passing on their tale in cryptic form. None whatsoever. ‘If I speak directly, I may inadvertently reveal my source!’
No. Here’s a tip my old son – Keep your mouth shut. And then your source is golden.What possible protection is a source offered by building in a delay mechanism? You are lying.
Talking in tongues is patronising …but moreover it’s dishonest. Anyone remember 321 with Ted Rogers?
‘You need me to put out the trash, I’m gray and dirty. If you want a big prize, get rid of me early.’
The stooge couple dump this ‘prize’ faster than Ted can order a litre of hair dye and a crate of Ellenet.
“You need me’. It was actually spelled ‘knead’ so what do you knead? That’s right, dough. ‘I’m gray and dirty’ was rhyming slang for thirty. That’s right, if you won £30,000 pounds on a game show you’d go on a spending spree straight away and you’ve just rejected £30,000 in crisp unused notes!”
So we get every imaginable piece of junk from these clowns. Phil Collins lyrics, numerolgy, the names of kids TV shows. It’s all cobblers and if they do score they deserve zero credit. Adults don’t communicate like this. Do you go into the cinema and when you ask the bloke what’s on tonight expect to get, ‘My first is in Inception, but not in Die Hard 2, my second is…’ an adult in real life would be hospitalized for behaving like this.
So a right telling off it was.
BIOYC!
Last
but juan
Is that what your Missus says?
I know I was banging on about this yesterday, but here is our horribly bloated first team:
GK: Heurelho Gomes, Brad Friedel, Carlo Cudicini, Ben Alnwick.
D: Alan Hutton, Kyle Walker, Vedran ?orluka, Younès Kaboul, Ledley King, Michael Dawson, William Gallas, Sébastien Bassong, Benoît Assou-Ekotto, Danny Rose.
M: David Bentley, Gareth Bale, Tom Huddlestone, Luka Modri?, Sandro, Wilson Palacios, Jermaine Jenas, Aaron Lennon, Rafael van der Vaart, Jake Livermore, Steven Pienaar, Niko Kranj?ar.
S: Roman Pavlyuchenko, Robbie Keane, Jermain Defoe, Peter Crouch, Giovani dos Santos.
31 names but 25 spots. Walker and Rose don’t count, but even if Bentley, Hutton and Keane are Barton’d off the team, we’d still be one over!
Sobering state of affairs.
A high powered hunting rifle with telescopic sights could see us with a perfectly formed 25 in under a minute. Any preference anyone?
Signed,
Ze Jackal.
Rubberchops, followed by J*****. followed by 3MP, PSB, Palacios, Bentley, Vernon Kaye, Chris Moyles, Gillian McKieth…..I’m getting carried away…..
Jermaine “Human Target” Jenas; Alan “Bull’s-Eye” Hutton; Robbie “Center Mass” Keane; David “JFK” Bentley.
Just make sure you get Jenas first
In both legs
To be clear, violence is bad, mmmkay.
My preference would be not to risk telecopic sights. Up close and personal and with the targets staked to the ground is better.
Mmmm, double-tap to the back of the head. Like your style.
Choices, choices… What would Steven Seagal do?
He’d flay them with hs prayer beads
He eat more pies and but an even bigger coat!
Dos Santos still being there seems unlikely, Palacios too for that matter.
It would be nice to believe that the ITKs actually do know people or sniff around dustbins for used boarding passes from Madrid or Munich. Sadly the phrase is used to describe idiots who think their analysis of a given set of circumstances is blessed with more insight than us mere mortals.
Strange that their analysis should not consider that if we did off-load our deadwood we would be cash rich and the fee of anyone we might even glance sideways at, would suddenly be shifted a decimal place to the left!
I don’t doubt we’ll free up room for a top, top player if we can find one. But our negotiating position is quite good if Levy can sit across a table and plead poverty and act as if a player is being ‘sold’ to him, rather than him begging for the players signature……. yeah well OK, but its better than sitting there with 20’s sticking out of every pocket!
Publicly this position does allow us to work ‘under the radar’ to some extent. If, and it is a big ‘if’ I’ll give you, we CAN secure a couple of TTPs (top, top players), I think we’ll then know who we can do without and I think like every window there’ll be no shortage of buyers at the bus station ticket office on the last day.
A lot of clubs who may be buying will be waiting it out for the last minute bargains. Bear in mind deals closed on the last day have often been sitting around in limbo waiting on other deals to go or not go. I suspect we will have a few contracts drawn up and ready and a few from others clubs all waiting for signatures as the cards fall.
ITK?………Naaahhh, just common sense.
Financially it might make sense, but bedding new players into a team with 3 games of the season already gone is hardly ideal for the actual football side of things.
In fact it’s actually a shit way to prepare for the new season.
Anyone know when Levy is back from his hols so we can get on with our lives ?
I know this ITK and he said Levy arrives at Stansted Thursday 10am Ryanair flight007
thanks , my life resumes in the morning then.
What a load of rubbish Ryan Air, The Chairman of a Premiership Football Club?
Everyone knows he travels by exclusively by bicycle and slow boat.
quote from chump chops”Its up to the gaffer really, hes the one that does the deals.he said hes got money to burn for a top top striker.I told him bring me in a FACKINEL of a striker and I will give him the prem. Im a facking football manager not a facking wheeler and dealer for sure,I told the players if they dont want to play for this great club they can all fack right off.Im raising a group of players that is gonna tear them all a new one, winners only ,every ball and every blade of grass is ours. fack the top four they are all there for the taking this season.A few more goals is all we need and they can all FACKINEL.”
I WISH :daumen: COYS