Those End Of The Year Awards In Full

Good afternoon.

I have a game I like to play at this time of year where I reaffirm my loathing and contempt of ordinary people innocently going about their business. It’s called nipping out to get a last few bits. 

Can I say a massive thank you to all those who have taken the time out to make this blog the, ‘always occasionally a good read’ that it was again this year. Without you it could have been even worse. 

In the spirit of the community vibe, a magnificent number of you got in touch about the radio show. Hotspur’s Half Hour is quite simply coming along nicely. OneDaveMakay and I appear to have now mastered the art of not talking over each other.

A vital element will be the participation of readers so we can lift the blog off the page and my apologies for not getting a chance to talk to everyone yet. But as we speak we are working with a top top composer and sound designer, have lined up some great ex players and Spurs type ‘people’, as well as securing a sponsor which we weren’t looking for but it’s nice to be loved. 

The launch will be early January. Fine dining takes a little longer to prepare than a pot noodle. 

So without further ado, here’s that End Of Year Awards List in full.

The ‘He Looks And Plays Like Matt Groening Drew Him’ Award

 Only one nominee, only one conceivable winner. Nicklas Bendtner.

The ‘Jeremy Clarkson Taken Outside And Shot In Front Of His Family’ Award

 Chris Foy. The Mr Magoo of refereeing.

The ‘I Didn’t See That One Coming’ Award

 Neville Neville your face is a mess is actually an excellent pundit. He demonstrates with ease how he actually understands football and moreover  just how dismal most of the others in the same profession are.

The ‘Whip Him Well, Mr Christian’ Award

 This has to go Roman CrazyPavingChenko. The abuse is extraordinary. Proof we it needed that a vocal minority on the Internet have unmanageable personal problems and vent online as in real life they’d either get laughed at or slapped. worst player we’ve ever seen?

No. 

The ‘Look, Don’t Take It To Heart, First Game Out Just Fall Over And We’ll Do An Insurance Job Until Your Contract Runs Out’ Award

J******* J****

The ‘Tokyo Sexwale Making Prostitution Look Easy’ Award

 Septic Bladder. Sepp Blagger.

The ‘Too Thick To Get Away With It’ Award

 The directors of West Ham decided to tip off the entire world they had pulled a fast one in the Olympic Stadium bidding process when they went on the jolly celebrating their win the night before the decision was announced.

The ‘Fred & Rose West Public Relations Hall Of Fame’ Award

 The Terry Family. The old man’s a failed coke dealer, the old woman’s a shoplifter, the brother caused a suicide and the man himself is among so many other achievements up on a racist charge.

The ‘Vic & Bob You Wouldn’t Let It Lie, But If We Can Get Him To Lie In Court It’s Perjury’ Award

 HMRC.

The ‘There’s Something About Him That Warmly Reminds Me Of  Football Clips From A Bygone Era’ Award

  Pathe News Boy.

The ‘She Wore Foundation With An Unusually High Wax Content Then Fell Asleep Next To An Electric  Fan Heater’ Award

 FaceLikeAKickedInFridge herself, Karren Brady.

The Award For ‘Best Leaked Transfer Request’ 

 No Like Chicken Badge.

 The ‘Making Our Club Look As Cheap As West Ham’ Award

 We Are N17 (disbanded due to lack of interest 18/0711) never in the field of football supporters has their been such a disagreeable shower of snide gits. This grubby minority group spent their entire but thankfully short lived existence being as negative and patronising as they possibly could.

The ‘Gerald Ratner Taught Me All I Know About Customer Care’ Award

 Those who have pledged to defend Arry with their dying breath won’t care to be reminded of the moment he branded Spurs fans ‘idiots’. On balance I think I prefer ‘idiot’ to ‘Client Reference Number’, at least it shows someone thought specifically about me opposed to just my credit card detail.

BIOYFCC!