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Arry Blew It : Ratings, Home Truths & A Call For Sanity

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Reality bites.

Look I know you can’t win every game. I get that. But at the same time there are simple steps one can take to guard against giving frankly mediocre opposition what can only be called …an even break. And that is what, without possible lucid argument to the contrary is what Wolves got today.

Our corners suck. And that’s me being hugely charitable. Me just getting going... You want to win the Barclays Premier League? Then you need to think about what went wrong. Wolves didn’t simply draw – we failed to win.

 7.432 Easy to have a pop at Goalies. He made at least two saves of some note. Let’s not lose sight of this, eh?

 4.101 Give me a break. Preferably a swift, high speed decapitation. Here we have a chap who quite probably was a damn good 200m runner at school. Fascinating. Clearly he has much to give. Or does he? He’s not skilled enough to execute the current role he has been given. Charged with acting above his pay grade and found guilty. 

 6.765 Just when we thought that his Royal Hoofness had rescinded his backward ways. Let’s not harp on. He’s a stand up guy, but today he looked rustier than his comeback performance. And that is fair comment.

 5.999 Another one. Younes, your attacking runs are completely undermined by their ultimate uselessness. Harsh? Don’t bore me with child like appreciation of his majestic forays, dear reader… they ended in nothingness.

 7.786 Subbed for Danny Rose. Wha? Majoritively, his performances are rather good. What was going on in Redschnapp’s mind? Answers on a postcard. 

 6.564 Physically feeling the strain. Needs a rest but who is there to provide his replacement? No one. So why encourage a knackered player to run forward? 

 6.674 Predictable, borderline dull. Threatened width, but preferred too frequently cut in. Needs to be able to provide a decent cross. Some will speak of ‘pluck’ and ‘effort’ …I wish that mob well. I like achievements. What a vicious task-master I truly am.

 6.444 Borderline rubbish. Guilty of being complacent with his consistently wasteful shots and rapidly wearing out his welcome with this rather self indulgent ‘license to roam’ cobblers. Here’s a tip – you’re brilliant on the left wing – so stick to that. Livermore, Walker and Bale all need managing.

 7.001 Is this chancer remotely intent upon staying in January? I’m unconvinced. Thanks for the goal. love. No really, thank you. Stop looking like it’s ‘not quite up to scratch for you’  you toad and be all you can be. Far too many instances of, ‘what am I to do?’ hand waving. 

 7.000 Not a great day at the office but I’m completely unconvinced that was his fault. You use international play-makers as …play-makers 

 6.079 Unconvinced there is much wrong occurring here. His goal was not offside. He’s intelligent, he’s highly skilled. So it must be the distribution: Please see my comments on Bale & Walker.

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472 comments

  • Simon Gibbs says:

    This is great reading H. I’m an armchair fan because I can’t afford to be a real one. I didn’t even see the highlights, so I can’t comment at all. What I can comment on is the hilarity of this Blog. Great fun, nice and abusive with the odd smattering of sarcasm and loads of bad spelling. It certainly brightened up my day. Keep up the good work H.

  • EssexRocks says:

    Crash helmet for HH – How very dare you have an opinion?

    Personally , i don’t agree with several of your ratings on this one but i must not be ‘proper fan’ because all the ‘proper fans’ are on here calling you a worthless c**t etc ;) I’ll hand my membership and 25 years of memmorys at the door on my way to Higbury or where ever our backwards cousins play their football these days.

    It’s alarming how many fans don’t really know what’s going on on a football pitch these days and more alarming that they need to go on blog they clearly don’t enjoy just to abuse the writer.

    Don’t lose heart HH, there are some people who read this blog that are familar with the game they used to call Football.

    P.s – I’d have upped Kaboom – the runs may fruitless but it’s always nice to see a Central Defender who has some control of the ball.

  • EssexRocks says:

    Ps. – Did anyone else see that Arsenal Boy’s offensive gesture to East Lower? 8 mins in?

  • Alfie Conn's jockstrap says:

    I would like to proposed a toast and raise a glass for our most under-rated player,one Benoit Assou-Ekotto.
    Sadly maligned by many misguided ignoramuses,especially where i sit,he has developed into a tenacious,skilful,reliable full back who excels against the better wingers and always offers himself as a willing outlet.
    Yes,he has the odd ‘mare,Young Boys & Stoke away anybody,but i would like to give it up for the man who totally mashed up that wuss Sagna with a fearsome challenge which has probably cost the woolwich wanderers a fair few points this season.
    Well done Benny!

  • Shabs says:

    Mate – wot do you have against Walker ? You normally give out balanced judgements but the way you are clearly anti-Walker biased in all your ratings and opinions for him makes me think he is your missus’s ba*tard love-child when she had time apart from you to ‘find herself’. Get a grip man and be fair!

    He had a good game. Loads of energy. More often than not puts in quality and supports the attack excellently. Defensively pretty sound too considering he is still a novice. If he keeps on this development then he will become an England regular.

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